More Than Words Can Say; Is a Kiss Just a Kiss? No, Say the Experts, as a New Series Explores the True Meaning of Body Language

Daily Mail (London), March 20, 2004 | Go to article overview

More Than Words Can Say; Is a Kiss Just a Kiss? No, Say the Experts, as a New Series Explores the True Meaning of Body Language


Byline: LISA SEWARDS

How can you tell if a marriage is made in heaven, if your partner's been unfaithful and who holds the upper hand in a relationship?

We would be shocked if we only knew what we were giving away through body language - what the experts call 'tells'. But, once you know the signs, answering such questions becomes second nature.

Former Oxford don and Big Brother psychologist Dr Peter Collett, who stars in Channel 4's gripping new documentary series, Body Talk, says happy couples in tune with each other's needs show signs of physical harmony, and will coordinate their movements. And a kiss is not just a kiss - it is full of revealing 'tells' about a relationship.

When Kate Winslet married first husband Jim Threapleton, they emerged from the church to pose for a kiss in front of photographers. But, as the actress prepared herself, Jim aimed for her lips then changed his mind and kissed her forehead. When Kate turned to give him a passionate kiss on the lips, Jim visibly recoiled at the force of it.

'When people feel the same way as each other, they synchronise their movements naturally,' explains Dr Collett. 'You see far more coordination between Kate and her second husband, Sam Mendes, as they time their kissing perfectly, making sure they're both ready at the same time.

When Kate and Jim came out of the church they were tugging in different directions as if they were dancing to different tunes. They were seldom focused on each other. It's no surprise their marriage lasted less than three years. When Liza Minnelli married her fourth husband, David Gest, it was easy for me to see that it wasn't going to last when I saw her stretch towards him for a kiss and she was met with a reluctant hug. It became obvious that they didn't want the same thing.

'Despite rumours about the Beckhams' marriage being in trouble, I feel their relationship isn't bad at all, although I was surprised to see David kiss Victoria on the nose when he received his OBE - that's a noncommittal kiss, one that indicates he wishes to keep his feelings about his relationship concealed.' Kissing can also give important clues to who is in control in a relationship. Holding someone's face while kissing them is a disguised way of controlling the other person, says Dr Collett. 'After Zoe Ball married DJ Norman Cook, the wedding "tells" rang a loud warning.

When they appeared for the photo shoot after the ceremony, Norman took the role of a bridesmaid, fussing over Zoe's dress.

Meanwhile, Zoe took control and, as she kissed Norman, she clasped his head in her hands. It was a sign of trouble ahead.' People in love have a strong need to be physically close and one way in which they do this is by holding hands with their palms tightly together. But when Michael Jackson was pictured with his then wife Lisa Marie Presley, an examination of their hands revealed a large gap between their palms, showing that neither desired closeness. Similarly, when arriving at a film premiere together, Nicole Kidman could be seen clasping her then husband Tom Cruise's hand with both of her own, but his hand was just hanging there limply.

'These small "tells" can be a predictor for long-term marriage success,' says Dr Collett.

'If you know how to read the signs then you can tell if a couple is destined to be together happily ever after. Successful couples are attentive to each other to show how much they care.' Contrary to what cynics believe, the marriage of Prince Edward and Sophie Wessex is a successful one. Dr Collett points out that the couple are, in fact, deeply in love, and this is clear from the way they gaze at each other.

'This was evident when they announced their engagement - they were constantly looking towards each other as they answered questions and gave each other supportive encouragement in their answers. Edward was always checking Sophie to make sure she was involved. …

The rest of this article is only available to active members of Questia

Sign up now for a free, 1-day trial and receive full access to:

  • Questia's entire collection
  • Automatic bibliography creation
  • More helpful research tools like notes, citations, and highlights
  • Ad-free environment

Already a member? Log in now.

Notes for this article

Add a new note
If you are trying to select text to create highlights or citations, remember that you must now click or tap on the first word, and then click or tap on the last word.
One moment ...
Default project is now your active project.
Project items

Items saved from this article

This article has been saved
Highlights (0)
Some of your highlights are legacy items.

Highlights saved before July 30, 2012 will not be displayed on their respective source pages.

You can easily re-create the highlights by opening the book page or article, selecting the text, and clicking “Highlight.”

Citations (0)
Some of your citations are legacy items.

Any citation created before July 30, 2012 will labeled as a “Cited page.” New citations will be saved as cited passages, pages or articles.

We also added the ability to view new citations from your projects or the book or article where you created them.

Notes (0)
Bookmarks (0)

You have no saved items from this article

Project items include:
  • Saved book/article
  • Highlights
  • Quotes/citations
  • Notes
  • Bookmarks
Notes
Cite this article

Cited article

Style
Citations are available only to our active members.
Sign up now to cite pages or passages in MLA, APA and Chicago citation styles.

(Einhorn, 1992, p. 25)

(Einhorn 25)

1

1. Lois J. Einhorn, Abraham Lincoln, the Orator: Penetrating the Lincoln Legend (Westport, CT: Greenwood Press, 1992), 25, http://www.questia.com/read/27419298.

Cited article

More Than Words Can Say; Is a Kiss Just a Kiss? No, Say the Experts, as a New Series Explores the True Meaning of Body Language
Settings

Settings

Typeface
Text size Smaller Larger Reset View mode
Search within

Search within this article

Look up

Look up a word

  • Dictionary
  • Thesaurus
Please submit a word or phrase above.
Print this page

Print this page

Why can't I print more than one page at a time?

Help
Full screen

matching results for page

    Questia reader help

    How to highlight and cite specific passages

    1. Click or tap the first word you want to select.
    2. Click or tap the last word you want to select, and you’ll see everything in between get selected.
    3. You’ll then get a menu of options like creating a highlight or a citation from that passage of text.

    OK, got it!

    Cited passage

    Style
    Citations are available only to our active members.
    Sign up now to cite pages or passages in MLA, APA and Chicago citation styles.

    "Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences." (Einhorn, 1992, p. 25).

    "Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences." (Einhorn 25)

    "Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences."1

    1. Lois J. Einhorn, Abraham Lincoln, the Orator: Penetrating the Lincoln Legend (Westport, CT: Greenwood Press, 1992), 25, http://www.questia.com/read/27419298.

    Cited passage

    Thanks for trying Questia!

    Please continue trying out our research tools, but please note, full functionality is available only to our active members.

    Your work will be lost once you leave this Web page.

    For full access in an ad-free environment, sign up now for a FREE, 1-day trial.

    Already a member? Log in now.