Sisters Speak out about Their Sexuality (Are You Really Being Satisfied?)

By Ashby, Hope | Ebony, October 2004 | Go to article overview

Sisters Speak out about Their Sexuality (Are You Really Being Satisfied?)


Ashby, Hope, Ebony


THE results are in and 8,000 African-American women have spoken out about their sexuality. Not only have you responded to the EBONY Survey on the Sexual Behavior of African-American Women, but you also have sent letters and shared your personal stories. The incredible response to the EBONY survey reflects the need we felt our community has--the need for a forum to discuss women's sexuality issues and the need to receive important and relevant information that is not readily available elsewhere. As EBONY Managing Editor Lynn Norment has said in previous issues, "EBONY decided to do the sexuality survey because we get so many letters and questions from our female readers concerning sex and sexuality issues. We want to shed some light on the subject and help Black women to understand that they are not alone in dealing with their personal problems, that there are others with similar problems, and most importantly, there is help."

Here is a summary of the results of the survey. For a detailed breakdown on who answered the questions and how they answered them, please go to www.ebony.com and click on the sex survey button.

SEXUAL SATISFACTION

So are you satisfied with your sex life? Sixteen percent of you are completely satisfied! However, 27 percent of you are only somewhat satisfied and 32 percent acknowledge some level of dissatisfaction. So what is happening? Forty-two percent are having sex once a week or more, and 23 percent are having sex two or three times a month. However, the majority (58 percent) of you would like to engage in sex once a week, and 32 percent say you would like to have sex daily! And, yes, over half of you (51 percent) stated that size can matter, but it depends on the skill of your partner; however, 27 percent of you stated that no matter the skill, size undeniably matters. When asked about your libido compared to your partner's libido, 43 percent of respondents say you have a high libido and 50 percent indicate that your partners have high libidos. On the other hand, 41 percent of you indicated that you have "average but not exceptional" libido, while 33 percent say your partner's libido is "average but not exceptional." Fifty-six percent of you did say you'd like more foreplay and touching before and during intercourse.

When having sex, however, orgasms appear to be a hit-or-miss situation. Black women are experiencing orgasms "sometimes" (26 percent) to "very often" (22 percent) with 8 percent of you reporting that you are not experiencing orgasms at all. The preferred method for achieving orgasm is through oral stimulation (40 percent), with penile penetration (33 percent) a close second and manual stimulation (19 percent) third. The good old missionary position (man on top) is the favored sex position (35 percent), with rear vaginal entry second (32 percent) and woman on top third. Even though there are favored activities and positions, problems with sexual functioning was a reality in the lives of most of those who responded to the survey. When asked if you had difficulty in achieving orgasm while engaging in sexual activity in the last year, 34 percent answered "yes." While 4,3 percent said that their libido was high, when asked whether in the last year they experienced a lack of sexual interest or sexual thoughts, 30 percent answered "yes."

A large number of the survey participants endorsed using sexual aids such as books and videos (48 percent), vibrators (42 percent), dildos (26 percent) and blindfolds/handcuffs (33 percent). Food play is also big among the respondents (45 percent).

CHEATING AND SAFER SEX

A still surprising result from the EBONY Women's Sexuality Survey is the number of Black women who never "practice safe/protected sex because they are in a monogamous relationship" (30 percent). Yet a large number of you (49 percent) are very concerned about men on the "down low." So, ladies, what is stopping you from taking care of yourselves, considering a number of you (16 percent) have or have had an STD and/or are living with HIV/AIDS? …

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Sisters Speak out about Their Sexuality (Are You Really Being Satisfied?)
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