Confessionsfof a Petrol Pump Attendant

Evening Chronicle (Newcastle, England), April 23, 2004 | Go to article overview

Confessionsfof a Petrol Pump Attendant


Byline: By Lisa Marshall

Saturday - I'm working with Lynne. We sit down with a cuppa while she proceeds to tell me she isn't in the best of moods because her husband was out on the town last night and had woken her up when he came in very drunk, as well as waking her later on with the sound of vomit projecting over the side of the bed.

At 12pm, Lynne left for the day and I was blessed with the opportunity to work alongside Peter, who is definitely a can short of a six pack.

When a young girl came in to pay for her petrol, I noticed her car standing outside with canoes tied to the roof rack. 'Surely you're not going canoeing in this weather?' I asked. When she left, Peter said: `What's a canoe again?" !!!

He later asked me "if the car wash would be safe for a car that had wing mirrors?" As opposed to?

I leave my office job at 5pm to make my way along the road to the petrol station to start yet another shift. This will be my first shift as a 'qualified attendant' ( i.e. I'm operating alone!

After the small rush hour between 6 and 7pm, it gets really quiet. I'm on a high because I'm all alone and coping very efficiently.

A customer comes in asking which road to take to get to Edinburgh. Asking me for directions is not a very wise thing to do as I sometimes get lost going home from work. I think for a bit, say 'um' quite a few times and just take a wild guess. I think he realises that I really haven't a clue what I'm talking about as he wanders out of the shop while I'm in mid-sentence.

It's sooo quiet. I turn the radio up a bit and proceed to arrange the sandwiches depending on the colour of their label(!). This is nothing out of the ordinary for me as you'll often find me alphabetically arranging my CDs. I really must get a life.

8.30pm - The phone starts to ring

"Hello, luv. It's the tanker. I'll be there in half an hour."

"Errr..(I start to panic)..what do you mean?..I'm new. …

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