The Stupid Things They Say and Do: George W Bush Is Not the Only Person Who Made a Fool of Himself in 2004. Our Contributors Test Your Knowledge of the Year's Howlers
Murrell, Dan, New Statesman (1996)
A reinterpretation of the New Testament; how the east celebrates religious festivals; a surprising new way to subvert capitalism; how your Christmas tree betrays your social status. All this and more in our seasonal section. Contributors include Terry Eagleton, Rosie Millard, Andrew Martin and Ziauddin Sardar. Start with our quiz below
Questions set by AMANDA PLATELL, columnist, NS
1 Which leading feminist, seeking a reversal of the dwindling UK birth rate, said it was time for all good women everywhere (but preferably not in the council estates), to "breed for Britain"?
a Natasha Kaplinsky
b Patricia Hewitt
c Pat Butcher
d Ann Widdecombe
2 Who, in her final interview as half of a celebrity couple in Hello!, said: "We will be the new John Lennon and Yoko Ono"--but was then serially cheated upon and spectacularly dumped, denied even the dignity of her partner being shot?
a Nancy Dell'Olio -- of Sven-Goran Eriksson
b Ulrika Jonsson -- of Sven-Goran Eriksson
c Faria Alam -- of Sven-Goran Eriksson
d Nancy Dell'Olio -- of Tabby
3 Who said this, after reports of an alleged passionate affair between her husband and his secretary: "Oi don't believe it. My 'usband ain't done nuffink wrong. We love each ova. She's a lying cow"?
a Mrs Boris Johnson
b Rod Liddle's estranged wife, Rachel Royce
c Victoria Beckham
d Queen Victoria
4 Which celebrity described her mother as a four-lettered ancient Germanic swear word beginning with the letter "C" in an attempt to promote her autobiography to women, then retreated to an Australian jungle in shame?
a Edwina Currie
c Janet Street-Porter
d Clare Short
5 Which heroic husband and publisher of one of Britain's establishment bibles, attempting to defend the honour of his wife, proved that he might just be the prat we suspected after all, by saying: "I am not part of the establishment, I'm a member of Britain's liberal intelligentsia"?
a Sir Conrad Black
b Stephen Quinn
c a Barclay brother
d Ian Hislop
6 To whom or what was Michael Howard referring when he said: "They have stolen my clothes"?
a His advisers, after attempting his 6,257th make-over
b Prime ministers-in-waiting George Osborne and David Cameron
c New Labour
7 Which distinguished Brit asked bitterly in an interview in the Times: "Why does everyone hate my wife?"
a Paul McCartney
b Mr Anne Robinson
c Stephen Quinn
d Tony Blair
8 To what was John Prescott referring when he said on the Today programme: "Who bloody cares about that anyway?"
a The north-east regional assembly, after it was soundly rejected by the people
b London's fourth airport, hated by the people
c David Blunkett's love life, sniggered at by the people
d The ban on fox-hunting, which divides the people
Questions set by ROSIE MILLARD, NS arts editor
1 Who fell foul of The Producers by admitting that he could neither sing nor dance?
a Lee Evans
b Richard Dreyfuss
c Henry Goodman
2 Who dared to insult the world's most famous female singer by suggesting she mimed her songs on stage?
a Elton John
b George Michael
c Boris Johnson
3 Who astonished West End audiences with a shocking tale of bestiality?
a Jonathan Pryce
b Michael Crawford
c Jerry Springer
4 Who is alleged to have admitted he had some help with his art exam?
a Damien Hirst
b Grayson Perry
c Prince Harry
5 Whose warehouse fire that destroyed Tracey Emin's tent was greeted in some media outlets as a blessing in disguise? …