Away with the Gays! Bravo's D-List Diva Tells Why She Won't Go Anywhere without "My Gays"

By Griffin, Kathy | The Advocate (The national gay & lesbian newsmagazine), November 8, 2005 | Go to article overview

Away with the Gays! Bravo's D-List Diva Tells Why She Won't Go Anywhere without "My Gays"


Griffin, Kathy, The Advocate (The national gay & lesbian newsmagazine)


My introduction to what would become one of my favorite pastimes--the gay getaway--happened almost by accident. Cher had just announced her farewell tour--I believe Clinton was still in the White House---and one of my gays sent out an e-mail with the subject line "Vegas+Cher=Heaven!" Needless to say, I was in. It ended up being me; my husband, Matt; and 17 gays. Though Matt, bless his hetero heart, just counted the costume changes before he could leave and get back to his sports betting, I had several Cher-gasms, some of them multiple.

Since then, I've embarked on more getaways with my gays than I can count, to such sunny destinations as Puerto Vallarta, Palm Springs, and of course, Vegas. We always plan the Sin City jaunts around a concert by a favorite diva, like Kelly Clarkson, Bette Midler, or Celine at the Celine-atorium. Oh, and Clay Aiken, who outdivaed them all by giving me a shout-out from the stage. My favorite moment of any of these concerts is when one of the gay dancers spots me in the audience. Their faces fight up, and they do what I like to call the "gay inhale," but they don't miss a step because they're pros. For me, getting winked at by a chorus boy is the equivalent of my husband seeing his face on the scoreboard at a Yankees game. It just doesn't get much better.

Oh, and speaking of validation, I have to say that the warmest and most enthusiastic crowds I ever play for are gay people trapped on boats. I'm like Britney Spears on a gay cruise. But not the current chain-smoking, dumb-as-a-box-of-hair-extensions Chaotic Britney, no. I'm the confident sex bomb "Slave 4 U" Britney. All I need is the python. Gay cruisers eat me up like I'm made of protein powder.

Speaking of eating, one of my few rules when it comes to gay getaways involves food. We're going to be consuming a lot of it, fellas--Vegas is all about the french fries at Mon Ami Gabi and sandwich parties catered by Capriotti's--and I don't want to hear the word "carbs" unless you're saying, "Pass the carbs, please." And none of this "Let's just get one dessert and five forks." Leave that for the Desperate Housewives, assuming they're still speaking. …

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