Hello from All of Us!

By Vilanch, Bruce | The Advocate (The national gay & lesbian newsmagazine), March 14, 2006 | Go to article overview

Hello from All of Us!


Vilanch, Bruce, The Advocate (The national gay & lesbian newsmagazine)


Dear Everyone, First of all, please forgive me for not getting this Christmas letter to you sooner. Ever since Harold and I were named parents of the year by the Rising Swamp chapter of PFLAG, I don't know where the time goes, what with our organizational commitments, the kids, the grandkids, their pets, and our outpatient procedures. Most of January was spent trying to figure out the new Medicare, but you don't want to hear about that. On to the good stuff--where to start?

Alvin has moved back into his old room, the one with all the pastel Miami Vice pesters, only now he's sharing it with his partner, Jesus (the j is silent). The thong boutique they were managing on South Beach had a very bad season, plus all their customers had moved up to Fort Lauderdale (where the boys are--remember that movie?), and they couldn't afford to relocate. So they're here, and we have a garage full of thongs. Write with your sizes! They also brought the shi-poo, the morkie, and a cat from Abyssinia that looks as thin as those children on the late-night TV commercials, but maybe that's just how they grow things over there.

They divide their time between us and Muffin, who is of course still with her partner, Carla, and their children, Mei Lai and Song My. Carla has finally bonded with the little one. She takes her out on her Harley, and you can hear that precious doll screaming with delight from blocks away. Speaking of dolls, Mei Lai had a fund-raising lemonade stand on our lawn for the hospital in New Orleans that cares for dolls injured in Katrina. I never could get Muffin interested in dolls, se this is a new experience for me! …

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