Wags Beget Wams Beget Warbles

By Wilby, Peter | New Statesman (1996), July 3, 2006 | Go to article overview

Wags Beget Wams Beget Warbles


Wilby, Peter, New Statesman (1996)


There was a time when football, even during the World Cup, was confined to the sports pages, except when England actually won the damn thing. Now, though, the Times, for example, publishes 16-page daily sections on "The Game", more than twice the space it devotes to "World News", and football spreads into news and features. Monday morning's Sun gave the World Cup the first five pages of the main paper and even the Independent cleared the front page for it. News-stand browsers needed strong stomachs, too.

As if a picture of David Beckham and Ashley Cole with their mouths wide open wasn't enough, the Mirror added a close-up of the England captain throwing up, with no detail (or no Photoshop manipulation) spared. All this was to celebrate our lads reaching the last eight after famous victories over, er, Trinidad and Tobago, Paraguay and Ecuador.

Just as we now wage war on small, weak countries such as Iraq and Afghanistan, so we now beat small, weak countries at football, and get mightily excited about it. We struggled a bit against Trinidad and Tobago, so perhaps we could persuade them to enter separate teams in future to give us an easier passage.

The trouble with football is that a game lasts only 90 minutes and, most of the time, nothing much happens except players passing a ball around in the middle of the pitch. The challenge, therefore, is to fill all that space. The papers had sent legions of reporters to Germany to cover riots by drunken English fans. But apart from two nights in Stuttgart, which looked and sounded about as bad as a wet Friday evening in Milton Keynes, the fans failed to oblige.

This explains the attention lavished on the Wags (the players' wives and girlfriends), supplemented where necessary by the less glamorous Mads (mums and dads). If politicians are worried about voter apathy, they might try something similar in the Commons public gallery or at party conference time, offering Warns (wives and mistresses), Glads (gay lovers and darlings), or, in the case of the Lib Dems, Warbles (wives and rent boys, lubricants excluded).

[ILLUSTRATION OMITTED]

The great thing about Wags, from the press point of view, is that not only are they young, slim, leggy and white (much whiter than the players themselves), but also that they behave as women are supposed to be behave: shopping, gossiping, dancing, posing, painting their toenails and having occasional tantrums, in between giving their men what the red tops call nooky. …

The rest of this article is only available to active members of Questia

Already a member? Log in now.

Notes for this article

Add a new note
If you are trying to select text to create highlights or citations, remember that you must now click or tap on the first word, and then click or tap on the last word.
One moment ...
Default project is now your active project.
Project items

Items saved from this article

This article has been saved
Highlights (0)
Some of your highlights are legacy items.

Highlights saved before July 30, 2012 will not be displayed on their respective source pages.

You can easily re-create the highlights by opening the book page or article, selecting the text, and clicking “Highlight.”

Citations (0)
Some of your citations are legacy items.

Any citation created before July 30, 2012 will labeled as a “Cited page.” New citations will be saved as cited passages, pages or articles.

We also added the ability to view new citations from your projects or the book or article where you created them.

Notes (0)
Bookmarks (0)

You have no saved items from this article

Project items include:
  • Saved book/article
  • Highlights
  • Quotes/citations
  • Notes
  • Bookmarks
Notes
Cite this article

Cited article

Style
Citations are available only to our active members.
Buy instant access to cite pages or passages in MLA, APA and Chicago citation styles.

(Einhorn, 1992, p. 25)

(Einhorn 25)

1. Lois J. Einhorn, Abraham Lincoln, the Orator: Penetrating the Lincoln Legend (Westport, CT: Greenwood Press, 1992), 25, http://www.questia.com/read/27419298.

Cited article

Wags Beget Wams Beget Warbles
Settings

Settings

Typeface
Text size Smaller Larger Reset View mode
Search within

Search within this article

Look up

Look up a word

  • Dictionary
  • Thesaurus
Please submit a word or phrase above.
Print this page

Print this page

Why can't I print more than one page at a time?

Help
Full screen

matching results for page

    Questia reader help

    How to highlight and cite specific passages

    1. Click or tap the first word you want to select.
    2. Click or tap the last word you want to select, and you’ll see everything in between get selected.
    3. You’ll then get a menu of options like creating a highlight or a citation from that passage of text.

    OK, got it!

    Cited passage

    Style
    Citations are available only to our active members.
    Buy instant access to cite pages or passages in MLA, APA and Chicago citation styles.

    "Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences." (Einhorn, 1992, p. 25).

    "Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences." (Einhorn 25)

    "Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences."1

    1. Lois J. Einhorn, Abraham Lincoln, the Orator: Penetrating the Lincoln Legend (Westport, CT: Greenwood Press, 1992), 25, http://www.questia.com/read/27419298.

    Cited passage

    Thanks for trying Questia!

    Please continue trying out our research tools, but please note, full functionality is available only to our active members.

    Your work will be lost once you leave this Web page.

    Buy instant access to save your work.

    Already a member? Log in now.

    Oops!

    An unknown error has occurred. Please click the button below to reload the page. If the problem persists, please try again in a little while.