Written in the Stars; Books: A Roundup of the Year's Celebrity Autobiographies - or Everything You've Never Wanted to Know about Posh and Co

Daily Mail (London), December 29, 2006 | Go to article overview

Written in the Stars; Books: A Roundup of the Year's Celebrity Autobiographies - or Everything You've Never Wanted to Know about Posh and Co


Byline: WENDY HOLDEN

EACH age gets the stars it deserves.

What does it say about us that the six 'celebs' whose 'autobiographies' I've just read have one proper job between them (Billie Piper acts)?

The rest are either famous because of their partner - Peter Andre is kept buoyant by Jordan, while the mystery of Posh Spice's relationship with her husband is the real reason she fascinates.

Otherwise, they're famous for What They've Been Through (Kerry Katona's horrible childhood) or What's Been Through Them (Daniella Westbrook's septum-annihilating cocaine addiction).

Not forgetting What They've Been On, of course - Kerry, Jordan and Peter have also featured on reality TV shows, as has the other autobiographee, Chantelle, who starred in Celebrity Big Brother.

You'll remember Chantelle, of course, from that CBB where George Galloway pretended to lap cream from Rula Lenska.

Chantelle came across as sweet and genuine and the nation was hooked by twin storylines: the irony of her being a non-famous person to start with and winning the celebrity competition, and her relationship with boy-band singer Preston developing on screen before our very eyes.

Or did it? Was it all a set-up? Did Chantelle and Preston really fall passionately, eternally, let's get marriedly in love while being filmed 24/7 and constantly in the company of the likes of Michael Barrymore, Jodie Marsh and Dennis Rodman? Is that possible?

Or are they a pair of adroit deceivers conniving with the CBB producers for money and shortlived fame?

You don't get any answers in Living The Dream (Century, [pounds sterling]16.99), of course, which is basically Living In Essex until January 2006 when things finally got interesting.

There are a few strange moments, such as when, post-CBB, Chantelle meets down-withthekids Prince Charles ('How extraordinary! You were locked up in a house for three weeks?'), and when her whole family was 'gutted' after topless pictures that Chantelle had posed for didn't appear in the Daily Star.

We don't know the truth about Chantelle yet, and we probably never will.

Or about Posh, come to that.

Her strangely titled compendium of fashion tips, That Extra Half An Inch (Michael Joseph, [pounds sterling]20) is absolutely stuffed with advice about buying V-neck T- shirts if you want your throat to look longer (I'll be taking that one up) and wearing beige shoes to elongate your legs (not so sure about that).

But for all the chatty, confidential tone, the one thing we really want to know is never revealed. What does she eat? Anything?

And then there's Peter Andre. …

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