Your LIFE: My Morning Sickness Was So Bad I Wanted AN ABORTION.. Her First Pregnancy Was Bad but as Yoko Pike, 29, Waited for Her Second Child She Thought She Would Die. Here Yoko Describes Her Nine Months of Hell
Byline: NATASHA HOLT
SIX months pregnant and lying in bed I grabbed my husband Andrew's hand and begged with him yet again. "Please, please, I have to have an abortion."
He nodded and told me he would sort it out as another wave of nausea flooded through me. And the next day I pleaded with him again.
I felt so terrible I thought I was going to die and the only way to stop my torment was to get rid of the baby.
I'd been so thrilled when I got pregnant with our first child two years earlier and Andrew, who's 35, couldn't have been happier.
But on holiday in Japan just after we discovered the news I started vomiting continuously. I couldn't keep anything down and felt miserable. I flew home weak and exhausted.
Back in England the doctors did their best to reassure me. "It's just morning sickness," they said, promising it would subside after 12 weeks.
The vomiting was relentless but after three months it did ease off a little. And when I gave birth to Titus in August 2004 it was all worth it. He weighed 7lbs 9oz and was perfect.
I loved being a mother, so when Titus was 18 months Andrew and I decided to try for another baby. I got pregnant straight away but just days after finding out, in April last year, I started vomiting.
This time it was even worse. My temperature soared to over 40 degrees.
I felt delirious and barely remember anything. Several doctors visited me at home in Newcastle and assured us that it was just morning sickness.
Then, 10 days later a different doctor came to see me. She was horrified when she saw how ill I was and told Andrew that unless he took me to hospital I wouldn't survive. By then I was almost unconscious and Andrew was frantic. I was put on an IV drip but the noise and smell of the hospital made me feel worse. The following day I discharged myself and Andrew took me home.
There, I could only lie in the dark with a bucket. Titus was so frightened to see me being sick that he ran to another room.
I couldn't eat or drink, I had to lick ice cubes to get some fluids. I lost 19lbs in three weeks and looked like skin and bone.
I was referred to a consultant who specialised in pregnancy related sickness. He diagnosed hyperemesis gravidarum, extremely severe morning sickness.
I was also suffering from ptyalism, a condition which meant I couldn't swallow my saliva. I was constantly spitting and I felt so embarrassed that I didn't want to see anyone.
Speaking was too difficult so I started writing Andrew notes instead. Most of them just said "help me".
For four months I was back and forth to the hospital. I was taking steroids so I could eat small amounts of food. I needed a wheelchair to get around and at home I'd crawl from my bed to the toilet, being sick as I went.
My friend looked after Titus all day while Andrew was at work. I had to lie with my laptop as my friend sent me emails telling me what Titus was doing while I sobbed my heart out.
And I couldn't bond with my bump because all I could think about was terminating the pregnancy. The midwives kept asking how I felt about the baby and I had to tell them that I was too ill to care about it.
I honestly thought I would die before I had the baby anyway. Every day I'd tell Andrew that I wanted an abortion but he and my mum thought I was delirious. During this time we also had to move house. I had to stay in a room in the old house while Andrew took care of everything. …