Byline: CAROLE CAPLIN
After ten years of marriage and three children I no longer fancy mywife. She has let herself go with her weight, hair, nails and clothes, and I amtoo embarrassed to go out with her. I'm completely fed up with her total lackof self-respect. How can I communicate to her how it's affecting me and ourchildren?
Alan, Putney It sounds as if your wife needs a friend. Have you considered thatperhaps she is suffering from depression, exhaustion or a lack of confidence?Rather than avoid her, show her some attention. Take her away for a few days tosomewhere remote where you can sleep, walk and not have to dress up. Make itclear you want to spoil her so choose a venue where you can pre-book sometreatments for her. Get her talking, ask questions and just listen. Above allremember the love and history you share. Of course you have to be honest but byapproaching the problem through loving and grownup dialogue and affection youare much more likely to find a positive outcome.
Last year I came home from work early and found my wife in bed with my bestfriend. I can't begin to describe what I went through but I chose to forgive mywife and we slowly began to rebuild our relationship. That was until I began tonotice her behaving strangely by leaving the room when she answered her mobileor generally being evasive and physically distant. Needless to say, I havefound out that they are still sleeping with each other.
I know what I should do but do not want to admit defeat and lose her forever.Paul, Lewisham But you are admitting defeat - by subjecting yourself toconstant humiliation and remaining in a relationship where your partner isdisplaying blatant disregard for your feelings. …