Byline: Andrew Cowen
With the new year lull putting a stop to any exciting musical guff, here's my prediction of who's going to be hot and who's going to be not hot in 2008.
Noisy four-piece from Windsor fronted by the posh yob Jason Sinclair-Kraut. This band of pretty boys are both arrogant and inept. Although they have yet to play a gig or record any tunes, they already have 13,000 "friends" on MySpace. The Messiahs prove that connections are more important than talent. However, this can work against you. The band recently lost the offer of a support slot on a Baby Shambles tour when they demanded bottles of mermaids' tears in their dressing room.
Taking advantage of the lull in Amy Winehouse's career, this gravelly-larynxed fox reckons she can drink her age in pints. At the age of 14, she has already received praise from Joss Stone who told her: "I like your Hermione Grainger wand, can I have a go with it?" Her debut single, I Can't Make An Omelette Without Breaking Legs, is on the Radio 2 playlist and her debut album, Going On 50, should see her safely supping at pop's top table. Mattell are rumoured to be manufacturing Janice Kipling dolls and there are rumours of a cake deal too.
DJ Silly Putty
Former Asda FM DJ Silly Putty had an unlikely underground club hit late last year by welding samples from the Banana Splits theme to an industrial techno beat. Silly Putty is still working at Asda but it's getting increasingly harder for him to remain anonymous as baby boomers regularly mob customer services demanding he play his hit. One unfortunate supermarket greeter was hurt last week in an unfortunate case of mistaken identity when a trolley wheel came off. Watch out for his next single, I'm Silly Putty, Wanna Make Something Of It?, out on the ides of March.
It doesn't happen often, but this tribute band, regulars at the Robin2 in Bilston, look like they may become as popular as their heroes. MeToo are a failed punk rock band, all in their 40s, who make a living out of pretending to be U2. Their stage gimmick includes dressing in calico dresses and doing little Riverdance jigs. An excellent live proposition then, but it remains to be seen whether they can transfer the attraction to the recorded medium. …