Stunts Are No Way to Blow Up a Hitting Slump

The Washington Times (Washington, DC), May 8, 2008 | Go to article overview

Stunts Are No Way to Blow Up a Hitting Slump


Byline: Dan Daly, THE WASHINGTON TIMES

Pedro Cerrano, trying to deal with a brutal batting slump in "Major League": "[My] bats, they are sick. I cannot hit curveball. Straightball I hit very much. Curveball, bats are afraid. I ask Jobu to come, take fear from bats. I offer him cigar, rum. He will come."

Teammate Eddie Harris: "You know, you might think about taking Jesus Christ as your savior instead of fooling around with all this stuff."

Pedro: "Jesus, I like him very much, but he no help with curveball."

Eddie: "You trying to say Jesus Christ can't hit a curveball?"

Slumps - and the hysteria that surrounds them - make ballplayers do strange things. The Chicago White Sox, for instance, offended sensibilities Sunday by bringing two naked female dolls into their clubhouse and arranging bats around them in an X-rated display. Actually, not all of the bats were around their inflatable guests. One of them was ... oh, never mind

Anyway, this is how the White Sox, last in the American League in hitting at .232 (going into last night), tried to get their offense going again - with some unconditional love from a couple of blown-up Baseball Annies. To complete the picture for you, each wore a sign over her breasts bearing an, uh, inspirational message. Call it a Shrine to the Mendoza Line.

If the dolls had any effect on the team's fortunes, it was delayed. The Sox managed only four hits that day and four the next before "erupting" for seven runs and 11 hits in a win over the Twins.

It was all just an attempt to "have fun and stay loose," skipper Ozzie Guillen told the Chicago Sun-Times. "I'm not going to make the players apologize." Besides, he said, "Those dolls don't work. Hopefully, we come up with something better."

Like what, Susan Sarandon giving the White Sox a pregame pep talk - "breathe through your eyelids" - and then dispensing garter belts for the players to wear underneath their uniforms? (Hey, it worked for Nuke LaLoosh, the scatter-armed fireballer in "Bull Durham.")

Of course, we can't get too down on the Sox. They're just looking for any straw to grasp, the averages of several of them - Jose Uribe (.195), Nick Swisher (.196), Jim Thome (.209), Orlando Cabrera (.214), Paul Konerko (.220) - hovering ominously around .200.

And let's not forget, the day before, they had tried to waken their bats in a much more acceptable - indeed, traditional - way: by shaving the head of one of their coaches. …

The rest of this article is only available to active members of Questia

Already a member? Log in now.

Notes for this article

Add a new note
If you are trying to select text to create highlights or citations, remember that you must now click or tap on the first word, and then click or tap on the last word.
One moment ...
Default project is now your active project.
Project items

Items saved from this article

This article has been saved
Highlights (0)
Some of your highlights are legacy items.

Highlights saved before July 30, 2012 will not be displayed on their respective source pages.

You can easily re-create the highlights by opening the book page or article, selecting the text, and clicking “Highlight.”

Citations (0)
Some of your citations are legacy items.

Any citation created before July 30, 2012 will labeled as a “Cited page.” New citations will be saved as cited passages, pages or articles.

We also added the ability to view new citations from your projects or the book or article where you created them.

Notes (0)
Bookmarks (0)

You have no saved items from this article

Project items include:
  • Saved book/article
  • Highlights
  • Quotes/citations
  • Notes
  • Bookmarks
Notes
Cite this article

Cited article

Style
Citations are available only to our active members.
Buy instant access to cite pages or passages in MLA, APA and Chicago citation styles.

(Einhorn, 1992, p. 25)

(Einhorn 25)

1. Lois J. Einhorn, Abraham Lincoln, the Orator: Penetrating the Lincoln Legend (Westport, CT: Greenwood Press, 1992), 25, http://www.questia.com/read/27419298.

Cited article

Stunts Are No Way to Blow Up a Hitting Slump
Settings

Settings

Typeface
Text size Smaller Larger Reset View mode
Search within

Search within this article

Look up

Look up a word

  • Dictionary
  • Thesaurus
Please submit a word or phrase above.
Print this page

Print this page

Why can't I print more than one page at a time?

Help
Full screen

matching results for page

    Questia reader help

    How to highlight and cite specific passages

    1. Click or tap the first word you want to select.
    2. Click or tap the last word you want to select, and you’ll see everything in between get selected.
    3. You’ll then get a menu of options like creating a highlight or a citation from that passage of text.

    OK, got it!

    Cited passage

    Style
    Citations are available only to our active members.
    Buy instant access to cite pages or passages in MLA, APA and Chicago citation styles.

    "Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences." (Einhorn, 1992, p. 25).

    "Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences." (Einhorn 25)

    "Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences."1

    1. Lois J. Einhorn, Abraham Lincoln, the Orator: Penetrating the Lincoln Legend (Westport, CT: Greenwood Press, 1992), 25, http://www.questia.com/read/27419298.

    Cited passage

    Thanks for trying Questia!

    Please continue trying out our research tools, but please note, full functionality is available only to our active members.

    Your work will be lost once you leave this Web page.

    Buy instant access to save your work.

    Already a member? Log in now.

    Author Advanced search

    Oops!

    An unknown error has occurred. Please click the button below to reload the page. If the problem persists, please try again in a little while.