United Kingdom but Not for Dogs; RECORD PETS
Byline: By NEIL McINTOSH
IT is called the United Kingdom, isn't it? The expression does imply some sense of, well, unity, doesn't it?
I guess in most cases it is true. We nearly all speak the same language, even if it is sometimes difficult to understand one another.
If you are driving in a 30mph road in England, the speed limit is identical in a 30 zone in Scotland.
A pound is worth the same in Wales as it is in England. The same goes for a penny.
I am not sure if we still have shillings. Veterinary surgeon means the same thing in Carnwath as it does in Cardiff.
Veterinary nurses are a constant irritation from Land's End to John O'Groats. (Heh, ladies, I'm kidding).
But, and this is confusing, if you are a dog, the kingdom is most certainly not united. It is most positively divided.
And, as you might expect, it is the government that is the problem.
Soon people are going to start deciding where to live based, not on the seaside or their job, but on their dogs.
Estate agents used to say location, location, location.
Now the cry will be legislation, legislation, legislation. It is bizarre, it is banal, it is bunkum. It is breathtaking balderdash and other words that also begin with a b.
And it is also simple. In Scotland, for example, the recent Animal Welfare Bill banned the docking of dogs' tails.
A penalty for wrong-doing is a pounds 5000 fine or six months in jail.
Seems harsh, but there we are. In England and Wales, however, you can dock tails if you are a veterinary surgeon and the dog is to be a working dog.
All you need as proof is a wee letter from the owner saying the dog is going to be a working dog. …