No Fear of ... Death No 4040
O'Byrne, John, New Statesman (1996)
According to the Guardian, Ed Stafford, a former army captain from Leicester, has advertised for a companion "for a 3,000-mile Amazon trek -must have own iPod". Other must-haves include "a GSOH" and "no fear of snakes or gun-toting guerrillas". We wanted adverts for companions involving activities that might need judicious wording in order to get some brave soul to sign up
Well done. [pounds sterling]20 to each of the four winners, the best of whom (Brian D Allingham) also gets the Tesco vouchers for going that extra mile. An hon mensh to El Basilio.
Stalwart companion and hands-free PDA/BlackBerry Google Earth operator required for glorious late-Alpine season. Endless variety of stimulating challenges. GHFH. Must have valid public liability insurance, EU passport and GP certification of continence. Hand-jamb experience essential, working knowledge of belay, invert rappel and free-fall mitigation preferred. Background in dynamic thermoplastic elastomers, ruberoid mechanics or applied learning of Hook's Law and/or ballistics helpful. Quick-release harness training available for the right applicant. Couples considered, no dependants or pets (except for St Bernards). Membership of Brotherhood of St Christoph useful, but not essential.
Spin doctor and trusted friend required for prudent leader of major political party, currently in government. Rewarding post for right applicant with desire to work for a brief time at the very heart of British politics and to be involved at a time of significant change. Must relish a challenge. GSOH, vivid creative imagination, no fear of snakes and good knowledge of strategies for dealing with knife crime in Westminster area essential. Must be prepared to operate on a no-win, no-fee basis. Creative writing qualification desirable. …