A.M. Stir

By Brumley, Jeff | The Florida Times Union, December 3, 2008 | Go to article overview

A.M. Stir


Brumley, Jeff, The Florida Times Union


Byline: JEFF BRUMLEY

SEASONS

A TOUCH OF AUTUMN

Florida doesn't get a real fall, not like up North. It's more like, one day you're driving along and you notice that some of the trees have turned.

That day was last week. On a drive to Ocala, it was almost, like, autumnal along the roadside. Reds! Oranges! Yellows! Something other than green!

ALIEN ECONOMY

ET'S SAVED BLACK FRIDAY

Well, no wonder Black Friday turned out OK, counter to predictions by economists and retailers and stuff. It's because aliens swooped in and snatched up bargains all across the country, according to the Weekly World News (which bills itself as "the world's only reliable newspaper"). And it looks like the whole shopping season will be OK thanks to extraterrestial shoppers, it reported.

One expert is quoted as saying that "we expect to see large numbers of aliens flocking to stores to snatch up the incredible deals being offered by big box retailers." Weeklyworldnews.com also reported that online retailers "have noted that interplanetary and intergalactic sales are booming."

So maybe we don't need that bailout after all, folks.

BAG VS. PURSE

YOU READ IT HERE FIRST: STIRRER DEFINES 'MAN BAG,' 'MAN PURSE'

Readers of Tuesday's Stir learned about the medicine bag I made using the thigh pockets of a discarded pair of cargo pants. All fine and good. But some Facebook friends referred to it as a man bag or man purse. I objected. I explained that it would have to have a strap on it to qualify as a man bag.

This made me think of T-U staff writer Tim Gibbons, who is famous in the newsroom for carrying an 8-inch-wide man purse - which he called a "travel bag." LOL. Yeah, for traveling to the powder room.

A man purse, BTW, is any strapped bag narrower than the 14-inch-wide bag I carry. In Gibbons' case it was even more so because he carries all variety of cuticle creams, hand lotions and hair products in addition to his car keys and cell phone (which may or may not be pink).

The funny thing is that on Monday, Gibbons was elated to show me his new bag, which he said is a "carry-all" or "tote bag." He was overruled, however, because it was only 12 inches wide. I explained to the crestfallen reporter that it's OK to carry a man purse. It shows character because it means you don't care that everyone is making fun of you (which, of course, is wrong, and I would never do myself).

MSG TO JOAQUIN

DUDE, PLEASE, KEEP YOUR DAY JOB

A few weeks or months ago or whatever actor Joaquin Phoenix announced he was quitting the movie biz. I was bummed because I loved most of what he's done (especially that movie with aliens and the Johnny Cash thing). …

The rest of this article is only available to active members of Questia

Already a member? Log in now.

Notes for this article

Add a new note
If you are trying to select text to create highlights or citations, remember that you must now click or tap on the first word, and then click or tap on the last word.
One moment ...
Default project is now your active project.
Project items

Items saved from this article

This article has been saved
Highlights (0)
Some of your highlights are legacy items.

Highlights saved before July 30, 2012 will not be displayed on their respective source pages.

You can easily re-create the highlights by opening the book page or article, selecting the text, and clicking “Highlight.”

Citations (0)
Some of your citations are legacy items.

Any citation created before July 30, 2012 will labeled as a “Cited page.” New citations will be saved as cited passages, pages or articles.

We also added the ability to view new citations from your projects or the book or article where you created them.

Notes (0)
Bookmarks (0)

You have no saved items from this article

Project items include:
  • Saved book/article
  • Highlights
  • Quotes/citations
  • Notes
  • Bookmarks
Notes
Cite this article

Cited article

Style
Citations are available only to our active members.
Buy instant access to cite pages or passages in MLA, APA and Chicago citation styles.

(Einhorn, 1992, p. 25)

(Einhorn 25)

1. Lois J. Einhorn, Abraham Lincoln, the Orator: Penetrating the Lincoln Legend (Westport, CT: Greenwood Press, 1992), 25, http://www.questia.com/read/27419298.

Cited article

A.M. Stir
Settings

Settings

Typeface
Text size Smaller Larger Reset View mode
Search within

Search within this article

Look up

Look up a word

  • Dictionary
  • Thesaurus
Please submit a word or phrase above.
Print this page

Print this page

Why can't I print more than one page at a time?

Help
Full screen

matching results for page

    Questia reader help

    How to highlight and cite specific passages

    1. Click or tap the first word you want to select.
    2. Click or tap the last word you want to select, and you’ll see everything in between get selected.
    3. You’ll then get a menu of options like creating a highlight or a citation from that passage of text.

    OK, got it!

    Cited passage

    Style
    Citations are available only to our active members.
    Buy instant access to cite pages or passages in MLA, APA and Chicago citation styles.

    "Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences." (Einhorn, 1992, p. 25).

    "Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences." (Einhorn 25)

    "Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences."1

    1. Lois J. Einhorn, Abraham Lincoln, the Orator: Penetrating the Lincoln Legend (Westport, CT: Greenwood Press, 1992), 25, http://www.questia.com/read/27419298.

    Cited passage

    Thanks for trying Questia!

    Please continue trying out our research tools, but please note, full functionality is available only to our active members.

    Your work will be lost once you leave this Web page.

    Buy instant access to save your work.

    Already a member? Log in now.

    Author Advanced search

    Oops!

    An unknown error has occurred. Please click the button below to reload the page. If the problem persists, please try again in a little while.