This Site Dishes out the Dirt on Baseball
King, David, Information Today
As regular readers of this feature know, your Field Correspondent loves to browse in the online shops of major professional sports leagues. And as you also may know, we browse not for that Personalized Replica Throwback New York Yankees Jersey With Your Name on the Back but for the particularly silly items that we know will entertain the Gentle Reader.
It's never a difficult search.
And yes, we have something for you today. This one is from Major League Baseball's Shop.MLB.com: It's dirt. For $19.99, you too can be the proud owner of a 1.5" "Commemorative Coin with die struck image on one side and Authentic Stadium Infield Dirt carefully laid into the coin on the other side."
Well, thank goodness for that. We sure wouldn't want to dispose of our disposable income on suspect soil, or worse, inauthentic specimens collected from the bullpen mound or the warning track or the little room where the clubhouse attendant cleans the players' shoes. No, by golly, it's just good ol' certified infield dirt for us.
And in case you have even more cash to burn--and hey, it's your patriotic duty to stimulate the economy with this kind of important spending--there's an upgrade too. For $199.99, you can get infield dirt packaged with an 8" x 10" photo, coin, dirt, and a 24-karat gold plaque, all in a lovely 13" x 16" wood frame. This one comes with a certificate of authenticity, in case you don't believe that the gold is 24 karat, or the photo is really of the ballpark in question, or the dirt is really from the infield in the photo. It just makes our head hurt.
In past postings, we looked at a site called CharityWines.com, which produces sports-related specialty wines with catchy (if you consider hideous puns catchy) names such as Schilling Schardonnay and Cabernet Glavignon. The sales benefit good causes, and though your Field Correspondent's wine tastes range more in the $4.99 to $12.99 category, we can understand the sentiment and applaud the concept.
But you had to figure that someone out there with a little imagination and some Photoshop skills was going to come up with some alternatives. …