Five, Seven, Five No 4089: We Asked You for Haikus on a Party Leader of Your Choice

New Statesman (1996), August 24, 2009 | Go to article overview

Five, Seven, Five No 4089: We Asked You for Haikus on a Party Leader of Your Choice


Set by Leonora Casement

Report by Ms de Meaner

I had originally decided to be hardline and ban all entries that failed to follow the rules re: "party leaders". But after finding myself rejecting entries about Alex Ferguson and Steve Redgrave, I felt quite benign towards the Vince Cable haiku when it arrived: he, at least, is the deputy leader of a political party. A [pounds sterling]5 token for all singletons and a tenner for the doubletons (Hodgson, Whitehead and Du Croz). The Tesco vouchers for excellence go to Mr Hodgson.

Nick Clegg

Would he come adrift,

A rowing boat all at sea,

Without his Cable?

David Cameron

A new dawn's breaking,

Britain looks to the future:

Eton and Oxford.

Nicholas Hodgson

Pouter pigeon strut,

Mirthless grin: it's Gordon Brown -

A dead man walking.

Respect Galloway,

After arsing about on

Big Brother? No way! Anne Du Croz

Gordon Brown

Sound of no music

Fills the upturned half-lit hall:

Yesterday's party.

David Cameron

The lights, the dancing,

The look of children's faces

Pressed to the window.

Gregory Whitehead

David Cameron:

The man who put the con back

In Conservative.

David Silverman

He's still clinging on!

Hold tight, Gordon! …

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Five, Seven, Five No 4089: We Asked You for Haikus on a Party Leader of Your Choice
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