Book Doesn't Tell Cole Story; PM ON SATURDAY
ROLL up, roll up. If you want to waste a week of your life this summer, form an orderly queue in the 'celebrity' aisle of your local book store.
Worryingly, I have no doubt that thousands of people will do just that when Cheryl Cole and our own ex-TV3 star Lorraine Keane release moneyspinning books charting their adventures in celeb-land.
But I'm not holding my breath for anything spectacular, despite their big announcements about the projects this week.
Cheryl Cole's tome is already shaping up as a stinker - apparently she believes she is so good-looking that she doesn't even need to bother writing that much.
In one of the most bizarre ideas of the past decade in showbiz land, The X Factor star has decided to release a book of pictures of herself. How delightfully humble.
So we don't get to hear about Ashley's affairs, her alleged feuds with Nadine or what really goes on behind the scenes at The X Factor.
No. Instead we have to make do with the Geordie lass pulling a few poses and flashing her killer smile.
At least when Madonna had the same idea some 20 years ago, she had the decency to take all her clothes off for the photos.
Announcing details of the venture, Cheryl failed miserably in whipping us into an excited frenzy, explaining: "I went through a phase of being a bit tomboyish when I loved trainers and Timberland boots and baggy trousers.
"I had pink streaks in my hair at one point but I was experimenting and at the time I liked it." No doubt they will name that chapter of the book: Cheryl - The Chav Years. …