Has Equality Destroyed Your Sex Life? A Controversial Book Claims Feminism and the Rise of 'New Men' Have Killed off Women's Libidos

Daily Mail (London), June 8, 2011 | Go to article overview

Has Equality Destroyed Your Sex Life? A Controversial Book Claims Feminism and the Rise of 'New Men' Have Killed off Women's Libidos


Byline: by Linda Kelsey

CORPORATE lawyer Amy, 38, goes to work in killer heels and a pencil skirt, commands a mega-salary and has a team of assistants at her beck and call.

'At work, I'm always the one in control and I admit that I like it that way. It's exciting and it's sexy being an Alpha woman,' she says.

But when it comes to her partner Max, who is also a lawyer, albeit with a less high-profile job, she often finds herself feeling confused about who calls the shots -- especially when it comes to sex.

'When I get home, I no longer want to be the power broker, the one who's always in charge and in control. I need to be wooed and seduced, and to feel that Max has power over me,' she says.

'Sometimes he fulfils the role, but sometimes he doesn't and I feel disappointed. It does make me wonder why I'm reluctant to take the initiative in bed when I'm confident and in charge at work.' amy's desire to be dominated in the bedroom certainly appears to beat odds with her behaviour at work, but does it follow that if you're adept at giving orders in the office, you'll want to bark orders between the sheets as well? According to the authors of an explosive new book, A Billion Wicked Thoughts: What The World's Largest Experiment Reveals About Human Desire, the answer is a resounding 'No'.

Using the internet, neuroscientists Ogi Ogas and Sai Gaddam analysed half a billion sexual fantasies, preferences and practices, then correlated their findings with animal behaviour studies and the latest findings in neuroscience, to come to the very non-PC conclusion that when it comes to sex, women are wired to find sexual submission arousing.

And that gender equality, far from liberating women sexually, actually inhibits desire. 'If you feel compelled to approach sex with the same gender attitudes as the working world, it's going to be difficult to be aroused,' says Ogas.

Feminism, to put it as bluntly as these two do, is bad for sex, and is the prime reason why increasing numbers of women are seeking help for problems associclean ated with low libido. Nearly half a century on from the start of the Swinging Sixties and the birth of modern feminism, these pronouncements come close to heresy. But do these well-qualified scientists have a point worth paying attention to? According to Ogas and Gaddam, we can learn some important lessons about female sexual behaviour from observing rats in the laboratory.

They insist that if you put a male and female rat in close proximity to one another, the female will start to come on to the male, performing actions associated with sexual interest -- running and then stopping to encourage the male to chase her.

But after a bit of kiss-chase, the female rat stands still, adopting a submissive stance until the male takes action.

They also claim that almost every quality of dominant males -- from the way they smell to the way they walk and their deep voice -- triggers arousal in the female brain, while 'weaker' men, who are not taller, have higher voices or lower incomes, excite us less.

What they seem to be suggesting is that the cavemen were right all along and that what women really want is to be dragged by the hair, all the while feigning reluctance, by macho men waving clubs. the over When I put this proposition to my friend Katie, 42, who runs a successful event planning business and is married to Geoff (who gave up a police job that he hated and is doing a stint as house-husband, looking after their sons, aged three and six), she blushed with embarrassment.

'It seems so disloyal to admit this because Geoff is so lovely in every way. He's brilliant with the children, he does all the shopping and cooking, but the truth is I'm just not turned on any more,' she says.

'He knows how tired I am at the end of the day, and though he's just being considerate, instead of asking me if I'm in the mood for sex, I long for him to be a bit masterful and say: "I want you. …

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