Doctor, I've Got a Bad Case of Competitive Illness
Byline: JONES MOANS Funny, outrageous and darnright rude. Who's in Liz Jones' firing line this week?
THERE'S a new sport I'd like to bring to your attention -- Competitive Illness. It's a winter version of Competitive Tiredness -- the one where you and your husband argue about who is more exhausted.
Competitive Illness involves women of the Western world all competing to prove that they are far more ill than anyone else.
For example, you announce you've got a nasty cough and, the next thing you know, your colleague is boasting she's 'about to get pneumonia'.
I couldn't believe it when a friend rang me to say she'd have to cancel our dinner date, as she was having 'a rigor' (that is, was feeling shivery, to which I replied she should put on a jumper).
Last week, my cleaner -- who was supposed to be hard at work in my kitchen -- called to say she hadn't been able to return my calls as she couldn't stop crying. 'Listen,' I admonished, since I am, after all, the queen of tiredness, phobias and psychiatric problems, 'if anyone has the right to cry, it's me. …