Git and Wisdom; QUIPS FOR THE YOUNG AT HEART IN AGEING BRITAIN
Byline: TOM PARRY
AS Britain's population grows gradually older, more and more of us revel in being miserable old gits.
Old age was once rarely discussed but today it occupies many of our minds. Now new book Old Git Wit has gathered a collection of observations about the golden years. Some are moans about memory loss while others are celebrations of the freedom of retirement.
These remarks sweeten the bitter pill of ageing. For as actor Maurice Chevalier remarked, old age is not so bad when you consider the alternative.
ACCEPTING OLD AGE
Getting old is a fascinating thing. The older you get, the older you want to get."
Rolling Stone Keith Richards
"Eventually you will reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it."
Will Rogers, American comedian and actor
"We don't grow older, we grow riper."
Artist Pablo Picasso
"One of the best parts of growing older? You can flirt all you like since you've become harmless."
Liz Smith, British actress
"The age of a woman doesn't mean a thing. The best tunes are played on the oldest fiddles."
Ralph Waldo Emerson, American writer
"As you grow old, you lose interest in sex, your friends drift away, and your children often ignore you. There are other advantages of course, but these are the outstanding ones."
Richard Needham, Earl of Kilmorey, politician
"I've got cheekier with age. You can get away with murder when you're 71 years old. People just think I'm a silly old fool."
Comedian Bernard Manning
"One of the good things about getting older is you find you're more interesting than most of the people you meet."
Lee Marvin, American actor
"The whiter my hair becomes, the more ready people are to believe what I say."
Philosopher Bertrand Russell
YOU KNOW YOU'RE GETTING OLD WHEN...
"There are many mysteries in old age but the greatest, surely, is this: in those adverts for walk-in bathtubs, why doesn't all the water gush out when you get in?"
Alan Coren, writer
"Life's tragedy is that we get old too soon and wise too late."
Benjamin Franklin, American statesman
"Life is a moderately good play with a badly written third act."
Truman Capote, American writer
"Grandchildren don't make a man feel old; it's the knowledge that he's married to a grandmother."
G Norman Collie, political activist
"When I was young, I thought that money was the most important thing in life; now that I am old, I know it is."
LEARNING FROM EXPERIENCE
"I get to be a kid now because I wasn't a kid when I was supposed to be one. But in some ways, I'm like an old woman - lived it, seen it, done it, been there, have the T-shirt."
Actress Drew Barrymore
"Whenever I get down about life going by too quickly, what helps me is a little mantra that I repeat to myself: at least I'm not a fruit fly."
Ray Romano, American comedian
"Just remember, once you're over the hill, you begin to pick up speed."
Charles M Schulz, American cartoonist
"If I had my life to live over again, I'd make the same mistakes, only sooner. …