This Isn't Fake News: I'm the Best Scout Ever; Scenes from the Early Years of Donald J. Trump. Part One: The Young Donald Recites the Boy Scout Law

Daily Mail (London), July 27, 2017 | Go to article overview

This Isn't Fake News: I'm the Best Scout Ever; Scenes from the Early Years of Donald J. Trump. Part One: The Young Donald Recites the Boy Scout Law


Byline: Craig Brown www.dailymail.co.uk/craigbrown

NUMBER 1. The greatest number in the history of the world. So let's start with number one in the Boy Scout Law, that's a great, great place to start, because one comes first, so it's the winner, it's a great big beautiful winner. Despite what they try and tell you, those liars and losers.

'So the first Scout Law is this, and it's beautiful, one of the most beautiful, beautiful laws in the world. "A Scout is loyal," so loyal, he's the loyalest loyal person in all this whole wide world.

'By the way: who's the most disloyal person on this incredible planet of ours, the most horribly disloyal person you could ever possibly meet? Just a question. I'll tell you who, I'll tell you.

'He's the present Chief Scout, that's who. Believe me, he's the worst Chief Scout who ever existed, so bad, so bad. The weakest Chief Scout in the entire history of the world. And that's why today ten-year-old Donald J. Trump is declaring his intention to run for the position of Chief Scout! Which brings me to... 'Law Number 2. A scout is friendly and considerate. Shame! That must be the worst Dyb, dyb, world's law ever made. And, by the way, when I get to be Chief Scout - and note that's "when" not "if", folks! - it'll all be very, very different. Big change, big change!

'Believe me, no one ever won being "friendly and considerate". No way. No one in the entire history of the known universe ever won like that. You show me "friendly and considerate", and I'll show you weak and pathetic loser.

'And, by the way, when I'm Chief Scout, there's going to be the hugest changes. First, we're going to change Rule Number 2. And you know what we're going to be changing it to? "A Scout is unfriendly and inconsiderate. That way, a Scout shows them who's boss." And now let me tell you... 'Number 3. A Scout belongs to the worldwide family of Scouts. And you know what? Before long, the so-called worldwide family of Scouts will belong to ME! And you know what I'll say to anyone in the family who's disloyal and weak and a loser? Right first time, folks. I'll say: "YOU'RE FIRED!" Believe me, when we're in charge, we plan to make so many beautiful changes to the worldwide family, changes you wouldn't believe. Billions and billions and billions of great, great changes. …

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