MY SICK WIFE INSISTS I GIVE UP ON HER; No Pain, No Palm; No Thorns, No Throne; No Gall, No Glory; No Cross, No Crown. WILLIAM PENN (1644-1718) ENGLISH WRITER, QUAKER AND FOUNDER OF PENNSYLVANIA

Daily Mail (London), April 18, 2019 | Go to article overview

MY SICK WIFE INSISTS I GIVE UP ON HER; No Pain, No Palm; No Thorns, No Throne; No Gall, No Glory; No Cross, No Crown. WILLIAM PENN (1644-1718) ENGLISH WRITER, QUAKER AND FOUNDER OF PENNSYLVANIA


Byline: BEL MOONEY

DEAR BEL, I HAVE been married for more than 40 years. My marriage has been a good one. We have three children, the eldest of whom was diagnosed with terminal prostate cancer last year. This has caused us stress and upset.

In November last year my wife was diagnosed with a cancer (gynaecological), having been treated for breast cancer some years previously. This has added to the stress for both of us. My wife is receiving chemotherapy and radiotherapy daily.

Her oncologist is optimistic the treatment will be successful but she seems unable to accept this and has become angry and abusive. She has now refused to let me go with her to hospital and will not give me details of her prognosis.

She insists that I should leave her, although this is quite unrealistic. I have suggested that if she needs a break I will go and stay in a hotel, but this made her more angry. I am now also having health problems and have to have surgery. She knows this, but will not speak about it except to express anger at me for being unwell.

I don't know how to get her emotions back on an even keel to make matters easier for us.

PETER This reminds me of a letter published on February 9. The reader I called 'Althea' was upset and angry because her terminally ill husband had, after many rows, decided to face his end without her by his side.

I felt she was being less than empathetic to her (clearly desperate) husband and told her so. To my surprise and delight, she wrote back to thank me for my honesty.

So I suggest that although I feel sympathy for the situation your whole family is facing, I'm wondering if you are misreading the source of your wife's anger. …

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MY SICK WIFE INSISTS I GIVE UP ON HER; No Pain, No Palm; No Thorns, No Throne; No Gall, No Glory; No Cross, No Crown. WILLIAM PENN (1644-1718) ENGLISH WRITER, QUAKER AND FOUNDER OF PENNSYLVANIA
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