LIFESTYLE SECOND TIME AROUND; While Divorce Is on the Increase, So Are Second Marriages, and They Do Not Have to Be Quiet Occasions, Especially for Celebrity Couples. Georgina Pattinson Reports

By Pattinson, Georgina | The Birmingham Post (England), August 16, 2000 | Go to article overview

LIFESTYLE SECOND TIME AROUND; While Divorce Is on the Increase, So Are Second Marriages, and They Do Not Have to Be Quiet Occasions, Especially for Celebrity Couples. Georgina Pattinson Reports


Pattinson, Georgina, The Birmingham Post (England)


The divorce rate may be high but it doesn't seem to stop couples from taking the plunge for a second time. Despite the failure of a first marriage, many seem willing to give married bliss another go.

But along with the hopes and good wishes that such an occasion brings, there are also a few headaches. At a second wedding there are matters of etiquette to consider and often the feelings of families and children to take into account.

Celebrity couples are not immune to the problem. Anthea Turner and fiance Grant Bovey are due to tie the knot at the end of the summer, but the groom's daughters reportedly won't be bridesmaids for their father's second wedding - at their mother's request.

Second weddings now make up 40 per cent of marriages in this country. Unfortunately they have the potential to turn into a minefield of tears, recriminations and worry, instead of a happy day.

'I think weddings are always fraught with difficulties,' says Linda Kelsey, consultant editor of Wedding Day magazine.

'There are in-laws and relatives to deal with and when divorce is involved, it's more fraught.

'If children are involved the difficulties go on and on.'

But she says that when it comes to etiquette, most rules and regulations about getting married again have fallen by the wayside, so it is largely up to the couple themselves to ensure that everyone is happy.

Kelsey says: 'It's a good idea to inform your ex that you're getting married, it's considered fairly polite. And I don't think you'd invite any exes who would upset your current partner. Think of your partner in that respect.

'I think it's incredibly important to include the children of any previous marriage in the celebration. If the children can't be included because someone is refusing to allow it, you should have a low key wedding that does not include everybody.

'The children need to be able to feel part of a new family and nothing is going to make them feel less like it than by being the only people who are excluded.'

Otherwise, she says, the wedding itself is very much down to the individual. Of course, a full church service may not be possible. …

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