History as the Sixth-Grade Sees It
Goode, Stephen, Insight on the News
The following items, taken from the Internet, are described as actual history-test answers from sixth-graders. The answers are not just from a few students, but from many elementary-school kids and are put together and arranged to tell what history is from a very young person's point of view. Here they are:
* "Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants had to live elsewhere.
* "Socrates was a famous Greek teacher who went around giving people advice. They killed him. Socrates died from an overdose of wedlock. After his death, his career suffered a dramatic decline.
* "In the Olympic games, Greeks ran races, jumped, hurled biscuits and threw the java.
* "Julius Caesar extinguished himself on the battlefields of Gaul. Dying, he gasped out: `Tee Hee, Brutus.'
* "The greatest writer of the Renaissance was William Shakespeare. He was born in the year 1564, supposedly on his birthday. He never made much money and is famous only because of his plays. He wrote tragedies, comedies and hysterectomies, all in Islamic pentameter. Romeo and Juliet are an example of a heroic couple. Romeo's last wish was to be laid by Juliet.
* "Writing at the same time as Shakespeare was Miguel Cervantes. …