The First Slacker President

By Durst, Will | The Progressive, October 2001 | Go to article overview

The First Slacker President


Durst, Will, The Progressive


Wearing a hat with the number forty-one stitched on it, at a golf course near the Bush compound in Kennebunkport, Maine, former President George H.W. Bush gave his son President George W. Bush a matching hat with the number forty-three on it in celebration of the kid's fifty-fifth birthday. Reporters were allowed to take some pictures, but no transcript of the conversation between the Bush Presidents was released. Until now:

43: Nice drive, old man. Looks like it squiggled down near that bench over there. Oh, yeah, got to thank you for the hat.

41: Now, son, I'm just glad we're able to spend some quality time together. Vis-a-vis, you and me, one on one, that is.

43: Hey, look at that squirrel. Let's throw tees at him.

41: Now, George, pay attention here. It's important that you and I, you know, the two of us, talk about business.

43: Aww, Dad, you said Dick was supposed to take care of all that junk. Toss me that water bottle, I think I got him cornered.

41: I, unh, well, boy, you know this, unh, whole thing isn't turning out to be as easy as we thought. What with Dick having his heart problems and all.

43: You could say problems, yeah. You should see people freak out in Cabinet meetings every time he turns blue. Ashcroft especially. Gets all huffy. Thinks Cheney's mocking him. But that pacemaker is cool. Sometimes when he's nodding off and I have to leave him a note about something really heavy going down, I just clip it to a refrigerator magnet and pop it right on to that garage-door opener. Makes a nice snap sound. Snap! Snap! Snap!

41: We got to get serious here. We might have played the oil hand a little early. You have to get back out there for some more photo ops communing with nature.

43: Oh, man, I never saw you wading around in bear crap.

41: Yeah, and look what happened in '92. That's not going to happen to you, mister. …

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