Ask a Silly Question.Get a Silly Answer!; Ever Wondered Why Milk Makes Cornflakes Go Soggy? Well, Three Boffins Did - and in a Recent Study They Spent Pounds 100,000 of Taxpayers' Money Finding the Answer. Each Year Millions Are Squandered on Similarly Silly Surveys. the Result? A Whole Load of Meaningless Information. RUBY MILLINGTON Reports
Byline: RUBY MILLINGTON
A survey carried out last year confirmed that 87 per cent of us think the wine is more important at dinner parties than the food. Not surprising when you find out the survey was comissioned by wine producers Piat d'Or.
A 1999 study found that washing dishes makes 94 per cent of us feel `upbeat and positive', and even helps a third of us to get a good night's sleep. It was carried out by Procter and Gamble - who happen to make Fairy Liquid.
An organisation called Associates for Research into the Science of Enjoyment discovered - under strict laboratory conditions - that smokers enjoy having a cigarette and that coffee improves concentration. It also found that alcohol is relaxing and eating chocolate and ice-cream makes you happy. Good news for the tobacco, booze and chocolate manufacturers who funded the research...
EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT SEX...
Ramblers enjoy more than the average amount of nookie, while agnostics have 20 per cent more sex than Christians.
Having sex once or twice a week increases resistance to colds and flu. Any more often makes you less immune.
The appropriately-named Randy Thornhill at the University of New Mexico found that men with more symmetrical bodies are more likely to give their partners orgasms during sex.
YOU SPENT HOW MUCH?
Boffins at Edinburgh University are half-way through a five-year study to find out what makes Scots feel Scottish. The project's costing pounds 1 million. The results are awaited with bated breath.
In December 1995, the AA commissioned Reading University to research the differences between men and women drivers. Three years - and pounds 145,000 later - results showed that young men are more likely to drive fast, break the law, drink or take drugs and die in traffic accidents. Women are less likely.
In 1997, Hull University received a pounds 4,370 grant to spend 10 months finding out whether it's the booze or the friendly company that makes people happy on nights out.
A study of how to slice onions brought tears to the eyes of American taxpayers. It cost a whopping pounds 373,000. Again in the States, public money was spent on why people don't like very long queues. Then there was the pounds 153,000 awarded to the nation's Office of Education to research how to teach college students exactly how to. …