What If You Were a Woman? (for Brothers Only)

By Leavy, Walter | Ebony, April 2003 | Go to article overview

What If You Were a Woman? (for Brothers Only)


Leavy, Walter, Ebony


AS it has been for millions of years, relationships between men and women have at times been a virtual tug-of-war, fought on different fronts with both sides desperately trying to protect their territory. And in doing so, it's no wonder that--human nature being what it is--couples, and those who are looking for love, assess the possibilities and sometimes question who really has it better in the game of love--men or women?

Whether it's because of societal dictates or other influences, most men (some citing financial responsibility) say they have more at risk, particularly early on because women are in the traditional role of accepting or not accepting their advances. But women protest that the whole dating scenario is no less ego-deflating for them, primarily, they say, because the man usually gets the ball rolling by making an evaluation of the woman's desirability--or lack of it.

Who has the upper hand is a matter of perspective, one that appears to be divided--as expected--just about equally along gender lines.

There's no way to determine a definitive answer, but the idea has generated some thought that could prove beneficial in how men view and respond to the women with whom they share their lives.

Black men, while making your case on who has an easier go of it in the dating and mating game, did you ever think what it would be like to live life as a woman? They say you never really know a person or what that person has to go through until you walk a mile in their shoes.

So if your imagination allows, perhaps you can put yourself in a woman's pumps and consider how you would be affected by situations women face often while they either look for love in this era of dating or they try to maintain already-established relationships.

* If you were a woman, how would you cope with (if you believe in traditional procedures) having to wait patiently for a man to ask you to dance, to go on a date, to get married?

* If you were a woman, how would you feel if, after being pursued relentlessly by a man who claims to be "all that," he--without hesitation or reservation--pushes the check to your side of the table after dinner? …

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