Barbie, Ken, And. Lead Poisoning?
Another reason to avoid sleeping with an ex: fear of contracting lead poisoning.
Just ask Barbie, who got it from Ken.
That's according to "Toxic Toys: A Poisonous Affair," a YouTube attack on the Consumer Product Safety Commission produced by the nonprofit Campaign for America's Future.
The video's release last week came after Democratic lawmakers called for the ousting of CPSC acting Chairman Nancy Nord and after the California attorney general sued 20 companies -- including Barbie-maker Mattel -- for producing toys with unlawful quantities of lead.
But you want to hear how Barbie got that leaden STD, don't you?
"Toxic Toys" begins with the Barbster chilling in a nightclub.
"Hey, Barbie. I haven't seen you in ages." It's Ken, who, as everyone knows, went splitsville with Barb back in 2004.
Flash forward: the bedroom of Barbie's Dream House the next morning. Ken's shirt is open halfway down his chest.
"Thanks for last night, Ken," Barbie says sweetly.
But a week later, Barbie's phoning with an awkward question about his bill of health. Since their rendezvous, she's been having weird "symptoms," she says.
The revelation: "It's ... it's lead poisoning."
Heh heh heh.
And then, a message lambasting the CPSC for employing "only one person" to test toys, plus a plea for Nord's resignation.
Lead as the new VD: It works, mostly because current toy recall hysteria is reminiscent of a sex-ed PSA in which a doctor diagnoses the football captain with chlamydia, warning him that you can't tell who has it.
Originally, the "Toxic Toys" message came in the form of a written report discussing "the fact that in a globalized economy we need to reinvent our government safeguards," says Roger Hickey, CAF co-director. …