Our Recipe for Culinary Harmony
Collins, Lorraine, The Christian Science Monitor
Pretend you're in a foreign country," I say to my husband, slapping some unidentifiable substance on the supper table. I know for a fact that he has eaten many things in his life out of politeness or starvation, including frogs roasted over a campfire in southeast Asia and mystery-meat stews boiled in a pot in the Atlas Mountains of Morocco.
He has many tales to tell of meals he has eaten around the world: lambs roasted whole in Turkey, and seafood feasts in Bangkok. He subsisted on nothing but salmon the summer he worked in Alaska, and ate corned-beef hash for 21 days in a row while on a troopship.
The man has been willing to eat whatever he had to, except, since he got off that troopship, corned-beef hash.
Corned-beef hash is the only meal I have served him in 40 years that he has refused to eat. At the time I attempted to serve it to him, we had been married just a short time and I didn't know about his 21-day experience of it.
All I knew was that corned-beef hash was the only thing I could afford for lunch when I went to an elegant restaurant in New York City when I was single, young, new to the city, and trying to be sophisticated. There was a poached egg on top of the hash, and I thought it was delicious, even if it did cost $2.50.
In those days, I was what was called a "career girl," and everybody, including me, was surprised when I got married. I knew next to nothing about cooking, but it was assumed by both bride and groom that I was in charge of things like that. For a while I certainly did try to fill the role so well illustrated in women's magazines of the 1950s, even though I was often reduced to tears in the attempt. But I gradually gave up trying to achieve domestic perfection and carefully cultivated the reputation of one who did not know how to cook.
At family feasts, I was excused from such arcane activities as making gravy. I was assigned to bring dinner rolls from the bakery or asked to provide the olives, pickles, celery, and radishes.
We were close to celebrating our silver anniversary before our older daughter, visiting us with her husband, suddenly looked up from the dinner table and said, "Hey, this is good! You know how to cook!"
I held my finger to my lips. …