Morning Briefing Eye Openers

By Dan O'neill Of The Post-Dispatch | St Louis Post-Dispatch (MO), May 17, 1996 | Go to article overview

Morning Briefing Eye Openers


Dan O'neill Of The Post-Dispatch, St Louis Post-Dispatch (MO)


Eye Drops:

MACAULAY CULKIN has decided to skip "Home Alone 3" and make himself available to the NBA draft.

Picked up a carton of milk the other day and JIM PALMER's picture was on the back.

Is it too soon to judge the LEE SMITH for RICHARD BATCHELOR trade?

I'm sorry, could someone please retrace the dribble to the exact point where MAGIC JOHNSON became SUGAR RAY LEONARD.

Back Pages:

Less than 10,000, or fewer than will attend the inaugural Senior PGA Tour's Boone Valley Classic, gather at Churchill Downs on this day in 1875 to witness the first running of the Kentucky Derby. Money is tossed around at a fever pitch as a total of $495 green bologna skins are laid down on the featured race.

Aristides gets out to an early lead and holds off the surging Volcano to nail down the $2,850 first-place winnings. Volcano takes home $200 for finishing second. The remaining 13 horses in the field get a hardy hoofshake, a slap on the rump and a handful of oats for their troubles.

Pop Quiz: The following description was given by U.S. Olympian THOMAS FITZGERALD: "It's water polo without the water, soccer but you use your hands, lacrosse but you don't use sticks."

Fitzgerald is describing . . .?

A. Bob Dole's campaign strategy.

B. Defense on the Cardinals' infield.

C. Official Bogey Man rules for playing out of deep rough.

D. MAGIC JOHNSON's game.

E. The Blues' power play.

F. Team handball.

The technically correct answer is "F."

On Wednesday, SANDRA REGINA MACHADO, the 31-year-old woman who claims to be the daughter of soccer great PELE, formally added his last name to her's. Sandra Regina, who plans to run for the Santos, Brazil's municipal council in November, was officially recognized as Pele's daughter in 1993. The court verdict in her favor was based on DNA tests. Pele, now Brazil's sports minister, lost an appeal in 1993 and, according to reports, plans to appeal again.

Here's the part I don't get: The triumphant Sandra recently received a new birth certificate, bearing the addition of her father's last name. She is now known as SANDRA REGINA MACHADO ARANTES DO NASCIMENTO.

I thought his last name was "le. …

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