PARENTING ; Parents, You Are Superior; Act like It

By Rosemond, John | The Charleston Gazette (Charleston, WV), February 25, 2014 | Go to article overview

PARENTING ; Parents, You Are Superior; Act like It


Rosemond, John, The Charleston Gazette (Charleston, WV)


In my most popular presentation Parenting with Love and Leadership I reveal the secret to proper, effective discipline: to wit, acting like a superior being. Todays parents have been seduced by behavior modification theory into believing that effective discipline is all about the proper (consistent) use of the proper consequences. In other words, they believe that effective discipline is a matter of manipulating reward and punishment. Consequences are sometimes necessary, but overrelying on them is certain to backfire. Many parents have already discovered that; they simply dont realize what it is theyve discovered.

Think about it: The teacher who always has the fewest discipline problems, who is regarded by her peers as the best disciplinarian in the school, is not controlling her class by using classroom management strategies based on behavior modification. What is she doing? Shes simply acting like a superior being. In a calm, composed manner, she projects an overarching confidence in the legitimacy of her authority. A childs natural response to this is obedience.

The question then becomes How does one act like a superior being? The answer: Act like you know what youre doing, that you rather enjoy doing it, and that it matters not to you whether your kids (or students) do or do not approve of your decisions. You love them, and/ or you know what is best for them, and thats all that matters.

After a recent talk, a fellow told me he wasnt comfortable with the idea of acting superior to his kids. He said it reminded him of his dad, who disciplined through threat, anger and repeated spankings.

Your father was frustrated, tense, angry and wanted you to behave for his benefit, for his convenience, I replied. …

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