Tyson No Match for Predictions Champ the Fumbler

Pittsburgh Post-Gazette (Pittsburgh, PA), October 31, 2014 | Go to article overview

Tyson No Match for Predictions Champ the Fumbler


It's that week of the year when everyone dusts off their crystal balls and stares into them looking for the answer.

Which teams will win WPIAL championships?

The Fumbler has never owned a crystal ball, nor does he want one. He makes his picks based off his senses -- what he sees, what he hears and what he reads.

It's pretty basic really, but often times people think there's a mystery behind his prognostication skills, almost like he uses some sort of scientific formula to predict winners of the games.

The latest person to question The Fumbler was Mike Tyson. Yes, that Mike Tyson. Well, kind of. This was the animated version of Mike Tyson.

Please follow.

Tyson, who at one time was the baddest man on the planet and still might be, stars in a new animated television series called Mike Tyson Mysteries. In it, Tyson leads a group of mystery-solvers trying to crack cases a la Scooby-Doo.

An episode is in the works where Tyson and friends attempt to solve "The Mystery of the Fumbler." Silly? Yes. The Fumbler didn't even ask to get paid for it. Seeing an animated likeness of himself was worth his weight in gold.

The network had hoped to air the episode this week, which would have added even more hype to reading this column today, but plans didn't go as scheduled.

Tyson himself -- the real one -- did, however, give his own picks on who will win titles, saying he would outdo The Fumbler.

It says here that Tyson doesn't have a puncher's chance.

The WPIAL playoffs get underway tonight. The Fumbler has made his picks for who will raise championship trophies at Heinz Field on Nov. 22.

Class AAAA -- Pine-Richland

Class AAA -- Central Valley

Class AA -- South Fayette

Class A -- Clairton

The Fumbler closed the regular season by going 52-11 (.825) last week, improving his season record to 468-111 (.808.).

Here are his thoughts on this weekend's top games:

* North Hills (6-3) at Woodland Hills (7-2), 7:30 tonight -- The Wolvarena will once again be filled with Hills. Last week, Woodland Hills hosted Penn Hills. Tonight it's Woodland Hills-North Hills. Of all the Hills, The Fumbler's all-time favorite is Hills Department Store. The store went out of business years ago, but was a common shopping place of The Fumbler when he was a youngster. In fact, one of its stores was a short drive from the Wolvarena. Woodland Hills lost there to Penn Hills last week. Playing North Hills will provide a different result. Winner: Woodland Hills.

* Mars (6-3) at Montour (7-2), 7:30 tonight -- The Fumbler thanks the WPIAL for putting together this matchup. First off, it might be the best of the first round. Secondly, it might have swerved The Fumbler away from a major problem. While studying this game, The Fumbler noticed that Montour's kicker is Adam Check and Mars' kicker is Caleb Brake. Check? Brake? It reminded The Fumbler that he needed to get his car serviced, specifically to get his brakes checked. …

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