The Comparison of Relationship Beliefs and Couples Burnout in Women Who Apply for Divorce and Women Who Want to Continue Their Marital Life
Koolaee, Anahita Khodabakhshi, Adibrad, Nastaran, Poor, Bahram Saleh Sedgh, Iranian Journal of Psychiatry
Objective: The aim of this study was to examine the comparison of relationship beliefs and couples burnout in women who apply for divorce and women who want to continue their marital life.
Method: for this study, 50 women who referred to judicial centers and 50 women who claimed they wanted to continue their marital life were randomly selected. Participants were asked to complete the relationship beliefs inventory and marital burnout questionnaires. In this study, descriptive statistical methods such as standard deviation, mean, t- students for independent groups, correlation, multi-variable regression and independent group's correlation difference test were used.
Results: The comparison between the relationship beliefs of the 2 groups( those wanting to divorce and women wanting to continue their marital life) was significantly different(p<0/1). In addition, the comparison of marital burnout was significantly different in the 2 groups (p<0/1.(
Discussion: Women who were about to divorce were significantly different from those who wanted to continue their marital relationship in the general measure of the relationship beliefs and factors of " believing that disagreement is destructive and their partners can not change their undesirable behaviors". In other words, women who were applying for divorce had more unreasonable thoughts and burnout compared to those who wanted to continue their marital life.
Keywords: Belief, Burnout, Couples , Divorce, Marital relationship, Women
Iran J Psychiatry 2009;5:35-39
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Many couples start their marital life with love. At the time, they never think the fire of their love puts off one day. Ellis stated that newly married couples rarely think that one day their fictional love may wear off , but it usually happens (1). Burnout is gradual, and rarely happens suddenly. In fact, love and intimacy wear off gradually and with that comes a general exhaustion. In the worst case, burnout means the break down of the relationship(2).
Burn out is a physical, mental and emotional exhaustion which happens when there is not compatibility between expectations and reality.
Burn out has symptoms such as physical exhaustion which is shown by tiredness, boredom, weakness, chronic headaches, stomachache, loss of appetite and over eating. Emotional exhaustion is recognized by annoyance, unwillingness to solve problems, disappointment, sadness, feeling to be meaningless, depression, loneliness, lack of motivation, feeling trapped , worthlessness, emotional disturbance and even suicidal thoughts(3). Mental exhaustion has such symptoms as decrease in self confidence, negative opinion about spouse, disappointment and posthumous toward spouse, self-dissatisfaction and lack of self-love (2).
Many factors play a role in marital burnout; one of them is unreasonable expectations. People have Different reactions towards different situations. It is possible that some event would make someone anxious or nervous, but the same event might be exciting and challenging for someone else. Couple burnout depends on their adjustment to one another's' beliefs.
From Beck's point of view, when couples lose their passion and love, even one disappointing event is enough for them to put negative labels on their spouses. In this case, lack of understanding from the husbands makes him unemotional in his wife's mind ; and if the wife does not grant the husband's expectations, then the husband thinks the wife is being unkind.
This study investigates the relationship between marital burnout and relationship beliefs and compares it in women who want to continue their marital life and in women referred to judicial centers.
With emphasis on reasonable relationship's role in avoiding marital burnout, recognized that the failure to have a reasonable relationship is the most common problem mentioned by dissatisfied couples. …