Don't Shy Away from Talking about Death

By Ascher, Sarah | AZ Daily Star, April 15, 2018 | Go to article overview

Don't Shy Away from Talking about Death


Ascher, Sarah, AZ Daily Star


Contemplating and talking about death can powerfully enrich the way we live our daily lives.

My mother, who died at the age of 51 during my teen years, wanted to die at home, where she could see our giant backyard oak tree and choose how to spend her remaining time. The year was 1977, and conversations about dying at home were often met with resistance by well meaning and beloved providers. My mom, an outspoken social worker, had prepared our family, meeting together regularly to discuss her wishes for care, something that continues to comfort me long after her death.

A few years later, my 18-year-old brother attempted to take his own life. As he lay in the hospital intensive care unit on life support for a week, my family said goodbye after making the decision to allow natural death and donate his healthy organs to people in need.

In 2007, my father, a retired physician suffering from dementia, died in a nursing home seven years after I moved him to Tucson and became his legal guardian. My dad began his time in Arizona living in a small, wonderful, assisted living home that he had been fortunate enough to afford through pension and social security. As his needs increased in the last few months of his life, however, our options decreased, and although I had worked in hospitals and health care all my life, I felt lost in navigating it all from the other side.

As I write this, I'm flooded with group texts of compassion for a friend whose husband is on life support in a hospital ICU, one week after planned and seemingly routine surgery; a harsh reminder that while the timing and circumstances of each of our deaths remains a mystery, we can only control the way we communicate about our final experiences, making our wishes and priorities known to those caring for us at the end before it all takes us by surprise. …

The rest of this article is only available to active members of Questia

Already a member? Log in now.

Notes for this article

Add a new note
If you are trying to select text to create highlights or citations, remember that you must now click or tap on the first word, and then click or tap on the last word.
One moment ...
Default project is now your active project.
Project items
Notes
Cite this article

Cited article

Style
Citations are available only to our active members.
Buy instant access to cite pages or passages in MLA 8, MLA 7, APA and Chicago citation styles.

(Einhorn, 1992, p. 25)

(Einhorn 25)

(Einhorn 25)

1. Lois J. Einhorn, Abraham Lincoln, the Orator: Penetrating the Lincoln Legend (Westport, CT: Greenwood Press, 1992), 25, http://www.questia.com/read/27419298.

Note: primary sources have slightly different requirements for citation. Please see these guidelines for more information.

Cited article

Don't Shy Away from Talking about Death
Settings

Settings

Typeface
Text size Smaller Larger Reset View mode
Search within

Search within this article

Look up

Look up a word

  • Dictionary
  • Thesaurus
Please submit a word or phrase above.
Print this page

Print this page

Why can't I print more than one page at a time?

Help
Full screen
Items saved from this article
  • Highlights & Notes
  • Citations
Some of your highlights are legacy items.

Highlights saved before July 30, 2012 will not be displayed on their respective source pages.

You can easily re-create the highlights by opening the book page or article, selecting the text, and clicking “Highlight.”

matching results for page

    Questia reader help

    How to highlight and cite specific passages

    1. Click or tap the first word you want to select.
    2. Click or tap the last word you want to select, and you’ll see everything in between get selected.
    3. You’ll then get a menu of options like creating a highlight or a citation from that passage of text.

    OK, got it!

    Cited passage

    Style
    Citations are available only to our active members.
    Buy instant access to cite pages or passages in MLA 8, MLA 7, APA and Chicago citation styles.

    "Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences." (Einhorn, 1992, p. 25).

    "Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences." (Einhorn 25)

    "Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences." (Einhorn 25)

    "Portraying himself as an honest, ordinary person helped Lincoln identify with his audiences."1

    1. Lois J. Einhorn, Abraham Lincoln, the Orator: Penetrating the Lincoln Legend (Westport, CT: Greenwood Press, 1992), 25, http://www.questia.com/read/27419298.

    Cited passage

    Thanks for trying Questia!

    Please continue trying out our research tools, but please note, full functionality is available only to our active members.

    Your work will be lost once you leave this Web page.

    Buy instant access to save your work.

    Already a member? Log in now.

    Search by... Author
    Show... All Results Primary Sources Peer-reviewed

    Oops!

    An unknown error has occurred. Please click the button below to reload the page. If the problem persists, please try again in a little while.