Telling the Truth to Your Adopted or Foster Child: Making Sense of the Past

By Betsy Keefer; Jayne E. Schooler et al. | Go to book overview

CHAPTER FOUR
A Fact-Finding Mission: How to Gather What You Need to Know

Carlton had just stopped at home for lunch when the phone rang. It was the adoption agency. A birth mother had just made an adoption decision and had chosen them to be the family for her unborn child. Were they interested in discussing the prospective adoptive placement in further detail? Could they come to the agency this evening?

Carlton and LaVonne had waited over five years for this call. For them, life without a child and the intense emotional roller-coaster ride of infertility was almost over. "Yes, of course, we will be there," Carlton responded.

Sandy Ridden hung up the phone. She could hardly dial her husband's office number to tell him the news. The adoption social worker at their public agency had just called asking Sandy and David to come in the next day and discuss the possible adoptive placement of two children, a four-year-old boy and a one-year- old girl. Neither one of them could rest well that evening. The following day they would face a decision that would affect them and two very special youngsters for the rest of their lives.

Each and every day in this country, prospective adoptive parents receive such phone calls. That call creates a myriad of intense emotions--fear, excitement, curiosity, doubt. Questions and concerns engulf their hearts and minds as they begin to process this monumental endeavor. "What will the children look like? What is their history? Why are they available for adoption? Do they have any significant medical concerns? What is in their background that we should know? And, most important, is it appropriate to ask? Do we have a right to know?"

-37-

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