Adopting and Advocating for the Special Needs Child: A Guide for Parents and Professionals

By L. Anne Babb; Rita Laws | Go to book overview

CHAPTER 12 When Things Go Wrong

There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.

-- Peter DeVries, U.S. author

Special needs adoptions are riskier than traditional healthy infant placements. Sometimes there will be difficulties involving out-of-home care, a child's acting out that endangers others or the child, and even the failure of the adoption. This chapter takes a look at what happens when things go very wrong in adoption.


FALSE ABUSE ALLEGATIONS

Marilyn Anthony was playing with her quadriplegic adopted son in their backyard. As she rolled her paralyzed son down the grassy slope of their backyard with her feet, his shouts and laughter filled the air. Their game was one of her son's favorites, allowing him the rare opportunity to move unfettered for a few short moments. A few hours later, the police and a county social worker knocked on her door to investigate complaints by a neighbor that Marilyn had been abusing her child. She had been seen, they said, "kicking" a motionless child around the yard. The child was examined for bruises and even though none were found, and her frightened son corroborated her story about their game, he was almost taken from the home. Only intervention by Marilyn's lawyer was able to prevent her son's removal. After spending several hundred dollars on legal fees, missing work to cooperate with investigators, and learning that her child had been removed from class for social worker interviews, Marilyn was told that the complaint would be dropped due to lack of evidence.

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Adopting and Advocating for the Special Needs Child: A Guide for Parents and Professionals
Table of contents

Table of contents

  • Title Page iii
  • Contents vii
  • Foreword ix
  • Acknowledgments xi
  • Introduction xiii
  • PART I GETTING STARTED xv
  • Chapter 1 Special Needs Adoption in the United States 1
  • Chapter 2 Choosing the Type of Child You Will Adopt 23
  • Chapter 3 Finding a Child 41
  • Chapter 4 Preparing for Parenthood 51
  • PART II BECOMING FAMILY *
  • Chapter 5 Early Placement: What Parents Experience 65
  • Chapter 6 Early Placement: What Children Experience 77
  • PART III REALITIES *
  • Chapter 7 Living with Special Needs 89
  • Chapter 8 Finances 129
  • Chapter 9 Working with Educators and Schools 147
  • Chapter 10 Transracial Adoption 163
  • Chapter 11 International Special Needs Adoption 179
  • PART IV FOR BETTER OR FOR WORSE *
  • Chapter 12 When Things Go Wrong 191
  • CHAPTER 13 Special Needs, Special Situations 222
  • Appendix: Resources 223
  • References 243
  • Index 247
  • About the Authors 255
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