Is there a man behind every successful woman? In listening to and observing my informants, it seemed to me that the whole scheme of things would be wrong for each one of them without a husband in the picture. I believe that the women either consciously or unconsciously think that a relationship with a man and a child will complete the cycle of their success. Gilligan ( 1982:127) writes:
As the events of women's lives and of history intersect with their feelings and thought, a concern with individual survival comes to be branded as "selfish" and to be counterposed to the "responsibility" of a life lived in relationships. And in turn, responsibility becomes, in its conventional interpretation, confused with responsiveness to others that impedes a recognition of self. The truths of relationship, however, return in the rediscovery of connection, in the realization that self and other are interdependent and that life, however valuable in itself, can only be sustained by care in relationships.
Sandy is a good example of the need for a relationship, although she functioned on a high level when she had no husband. Despite having a sick child and going to school at night, she continued to be successful in her work. In less than nine months, however, she became involved with Richard.
Epstein ( 1981:342) observes in Women in Law that