on the good stuff ( Duck, 1991). Personal systems of meaning are the basis for all the relationship effects that researchers study, whether dark or light. All the same, I am not arguing that one should cast aside cheery research and now all do investigations of depressing negativity amidst an atmosphere of sackcloth and ashes. It would be a grievous intellectual error to regard the "dark side" as a separate aspect of relating ( Altman, personal communication, Sept. 1, 1992). Instead, we need to theorize it as an integral part of the unified process of relating. Like the dark side of the moon, the dark side of relationships can be found to co-exist in the same entity as the light side. We need to explore and understand it not in itself but in its relation to everything else that has ever been learned about relationships. More important, we need to understand how normal people leading everyday lives resolve and manage the "dark side" of those working, throbbing relational lives.
I gratefully acknowledge the insights, advice, and suggestions of Irwin Altman, Anita Barbee, Bill Cupach, Robert Hinde, Karen Prager, Catherine Radecki-Bush, Phil Shaver, Brian Spitzberg, and Julia T. Wood who read and commented on the first draft.
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