Handy-Dandy Plan to Save Our
Leo RostenNo fair-minded cretin can deny that our colleges--so lovingly nourished, so costly to maintain, so irreplaceable in the knowledge they augment and dispense--are in one hell of a mess. If the stupid Establishment would only listen
to our idealistic children, to the sincere college
students who only want to communicate
their superior wisdom in
meaningful monologues, then the answer to all our college problems
would become as clear as the nose on my face, which few observers fail
to notice.We must unmask the broad social causes that underlie campus
unrest. Once we understand that, or them, the cure is a cinch.
Millions of decent young Americans annually complete what we call
"high" school. (This usually occurs between the age of 16.) These innocent youngsters are cursed with materialistic parents who do not
. The insensitive parents fall into three inhuman
|A. Parents who insist that their children go to college because they
are naïve sentimentalists and want to give their offspring the best education possible.|
Going to college is, of course, not the same as getting an education;
but parents in Group A are ecstatic if their progeny simply use up four
years on a campus--even though junior hates to read, Missy is incapable of understanding why water runs downhill instead of up, and
both will get a B.A. under the illusion that the Generalissimo of Nationalist China is Shanghai Jack.
|B. Parents who force their kids to go to college only because they
(the parents) don't want them (the kids) hanging around the house.
Nothing so destroys American parents' peace of mind as having nubile
boys and girls in physical proximity when they (the parents) don't want
them (the children) around, especially while they (the parents) want to|