I had always known that botanists were finicky,
But not until a recent tour of the dictionary did I realize
that they were also cynicky.
They are friendly toward strangers, they are not xenophobes,
they enjoy the theater, they are not dramaphobes,
But it is now clear to me that they are, to coin an unscholarly
but apt neologism, thalamaphobes.
Yes, they are in favor of pollenizing
Just as much as Kosygin is against imperialistic colonizing,
But they disparage marriage.
Let me anticipate your queries,
Let me simply call your attention to the matrimony vine,
the common name by which they identify a solanaceous
plant of the genus Lycium, cultivated for its flowers,
foliage and berries.
So far, so innocent, but hold! What is solanaceous? Upon
Included in the species Solanaceae what do we find? We
find henbane, mandrake and belladonna.
Let alone mandrake and belladonna, you know and I know
that every botanist knows henbane, it's an herb com-
mon, not exotic;
It bears sticky, hairy foliage of disagreeable odor and has
properties poisonous and narcotic.
So here we have a plant sticky, hairy, lethal and mephitic,
and by what name does the botanist choose this plant
The matrimony vine.
I say, Lady, if you wish of all wives to be the forgottenist,
Marry a botanist.