Within a two-parent family, this father shows the value of the father's restraining the overprotective tendencies of the mother. The son had to deal with the football situation himself, something the father clearly understood. The father was present when other crucial events took place, from mediocre grades on his son's report card to a new haircut. His presence, firm hand, and clear values helped his son to succeed.
thing will come off on you. Use money as a tool. After money, then you've got power and you can make changes. [The message of providing is being delivered.] You've got to get within the system to change it. And the only way is through education. No hostility, no militant stuff. You have to be exposed to a cultural environment. It is not a Black world. We would like it to be sometimes, but it is not.
I taught him about sex and to take responsibility for himself. He can't take the girl's word for it--you protect yourself. When his hormones were causing him to bump off the walls, I sat down and told him honestly what the deal was. I taught him control, and if he couldn't control the situation, to get out of it. We didn't need to create another problem. His priorities are to finish school, get his master's degree, a job, a car, an apartment, a wife, and then children. [The marital role is emphasized.]
There are certain things you don't do around your children. You don't party and drink with them because eventually they will lose respect for you. I've always been honest with him and told him he can tell me when I'm wrong, that I will listen. The emphasis is on loving and respecting each other.
|1.||Fathers need to prepare their sons for being an African American male. The message here is never to forget that they are Black and that Black males are often placed in difficult situations. This is conveyed through statements related to their sons' always being suspects whenever a crime is committed, and the need for their sons to avoid areas that might be dangerous to them because of their race.|
|2.||Children need to learn African American history. Fathers emphasize the need for appreciating culture so that their sons will have even greater pride in their own accomplishments. The sense of pride in their|