leave Petersburg--this meant not only deserting his mother, with whom he had lived without a separation since birth, but also to desert Dargomizhsky, Balakirev, Cui, and his musical studies . . --VLADIMIR STASOV
On July 5, 1858, Musorgsky resigned his commission, giving as his reason the impossibility of separation from friends and family, and left almost immediately with his brother for Tikhvin, to take a cure.
Jericho, 5th July, Saturday, 1858
With great pain I've come to Jericho.11 On the train, with a little string pulling, I landed in the mail car, taking there at night all my belongings from the second class (for which I had a ticket), among them the cane which at some unknown point disappeared, causing me much sorrow. This circumstance was even more peculiar in that I had not taken the cane with me on the platform, so that no one could have stolen it, nor would anyone have attempted it. There's something extraordinary, supernatural, here. Unluckily I am somewhat superstitious and I can't help thinking that the loss of the cane means the loss of something good for myself, but I can see from here that you are laughing at me, so I conclude my discussion of this matter! I was quite well while traveling: my head didn't ache; I washed at the station and spent a lot of money on food; they pulled 50 kopeks out of me for a cold fish soup, with a rotten salmon which you, Romeo, would doubtless have loved. The only passenger I talked with was____________________