myself at all skilled enough to perform at the piano, and due to my being out of practice, particularly in playing Schumann Faust9--I would be more of an embarrassment than a help to you. And that thought--of accompanying your chorus--is so repellent to me and it so alarms my brain, that if in your soul you should accuse me of a ridiculous caprice, even in such a case I would not come--although it would be heavy for me to bear the accusation of a ridiculous caprice. --Nadezhda Petrovna [Opochinina] said she wasn't home because she wasn't dressed, this is the arrangement she has established: Till two o'clock she is not at home to visitors--and today she planned to go out at three o'clock on various tiresome errands.
Firmly kiss you, dear, and I beg you not to impose on me any accusation for my refusal.
I received an envelope with tickets for the quartet and symphony concerts of the musical slum. 10 I decided--at once to send back these tickets to the musical slum.--Demidov has gone out of his mind and is staying at Stein's.11 He bit Rubinstein and at once landed at Stein's. --How sad.
[ December, 1869]
Our indirect acquaintance must begin on my part by my begging your pardon for my tardy reply. The fact is, that with full sympathy____________________