'I like the man but not the Bishop.'
THE QUEEN wrapped herself in her grief and longed for the day when her spirit would meet Prince Albert's in a future life after death. She dismissed ill-conceived attempts to comfort her as impatiently as she dismissed the words of a clergyman, who said that she must now consider herself a bride of Christ, as so much 'twaddle': the man 'must have known that he was talking nonsense'. Occasionally, so she told Randall Davidson, the Dean of Windsor, she was assailed by doubts as to whether or not there was, indeed, an afterlife; but these thoughts did not trouble her for long: she spoke more often of her faith in an 'eternal reunion hereafter'; and, in this later life, she was to be rather concerned to reflect what her husband might have to say to her. 'Do you know, my dear,' she was to tell one of her granddaughters, 'I sometimes feel that when I die I shall be just a little nervous about meeting Grandpapa for I have taken to doing a good many things that he would not quite approve of.'
'I feel now to be so acquainted with death,' she wrote to the Princess Royal soon after her mother died, '& to be much nearer that unseen world.' 1 She felt sure that her husband was watching her and that she was in communion with his spirit, though she did not know what other spirits she might encounter and did not care for the thought of meeting some of them. She was said to have objected to the idea of King David being presented to her because of his disgraceful treatment of Uriah the Hittite; and when one of her ladies remarked that they would soon all meet in Abraham's bosom she haughtily replied that she herself would 'not meet Abraham'. 2