141 Downes Avenue
March 26, 1956
Dear Lela-- 1
Your outline of our lives was most interesting to me--probably more interesting to me than it would be to anyone else. My first impression is that the three of us--Ethel, you and I--would be needed to really remember what went on, for Ethel's memory is fantastically good, and mine is fallible.
When it comes to adding to the recollections and giving them a sort of editorial scrutiny I come up against a strange quirk in my own psyche--I have always fought shy of writing down anything about myself. Not from reluctance to reveal what happened, but because autobiography is not the kind of work that interests me, yet it does take time. If I sat down to make a list of my memories that were worth recalling it would be a major effort, and one that would keep m[e] from thinking about that next play that's always in my mind. So far as I'm concerned I've never written a play good enough to be remembered and I still have hopes of writing one. At least I'm not willing to give up the few creative days I have left to any other purpose.
Perhaps too I'm a little sensitive on the score of perhaps estimating myself too highly. It's my conviction that I haven't ma[d]e a high enough mark on the sands of time, or the eternal beach, to be worthy of long remembering. If I were to write, even to assist you, a list of the little happenings that come back to me, I should feel that I was making myself a little ridiculous. What have I done that I should be held up to future generations--or to this?
If you weren't a well-beloved sister I wouldn't write this bit of truth to you out of my insides. I don't think I've ever said it to anybody except Gilda, and she doesn't understand it. But I do sincerely feel that way, and to you and Dan I can say so.
The spring does come on slowly here--the nights continue cold and the snow lingers on. I'm trying to pull myself together and pounce on a new play if I can plan it to my satisfaction. 2 If I can't I'll try another pot-boiler like Bad Seed or another picture.