C SAMPLE DOCUMENTS Revision
The documents in this section consist of five writers' attempts at applying the material covered in the last five chapters of this book. Each writer has provided an original document, a revision, and a list of reasons for the revision. Sentences in the original document are numbered, and the writer's reasons for the revision include numbers that match those in the original.
These papers are not offered as perfect examples but as good examples of a particular approach to revision, one that emphasizes conciseness, word choice, word order, punctuation, and grammar. They should invite productive discussion. Although the papers in this section may also demonstrate principles covered elsewhere in this book, they are not offered specifically as an application of them.
In most cases, writers have agreed to publication of their names, positions, and company affiliations. This information is offered to provide each writing sample with a context that includes information about the industry and the writer's place within the organization.
The beginning of each document identifies the writer, and the writer's current company and position. It also provides information about the number of words in the original document and the number of words in the revision. These numbers should not be taken too seriously. They are offered only as general indicators of changes in conciseness.