Enter AMANDA, her Woman following her.
WOM. If you please, madam, only to say, [whether] you'll have me buy 'em or not.
AMAN. Yes, no, go fiddle! I care not what you do. Prithee leave me.
WOM. I have done. Exit Woman. 290
BER. What in the name of Jove's the matter with you?
AMAN. The matter, Berinthia! I'm almost mad, I'm plagued to death.
BER. Who is it that plagues you? 295
AMAN. Who do you think should plague a wife, but her husband?
BER. O ho, is it come to that? We shall have you wish yourself a widow by and by.
AMAN. Would I were anything but what I 300 am! A base ungrateful man, after what I have done for him, to use me thus!
BER. What! he has been ogling now, I'll warrant you?
AMAN. Yes, he has been ogling. 305
BER. And so you are jealous? Is that all?
AMAN. That all! Is jealousy then nothing?
BER. It should be nothing, if I were in your case.
AMAN. Why, what would you do?
BER. I'd cure myself. 310
BER. Let blood in the fond vein: care as little for my husband as he did for me.
AMAN. That would not stop his course.
BER. Nor nothing else, when the wind's in 315 the warm corner. Look you, Amanda, you may build castles in the air, and fume, and fret, and grow thin and lean and pale and ugly, if you please. But I tell you, no man worth having is true to his wife, or can be true to his wife, or ever was, or ever will 320 be so.
AMAN. Do you then really think he's false to me? for I did but suspect him.
BER. Think so? I know he's so.
AMAN. Is it possible? Pray tell me what 325 you know.
BER. Don't press me then to name names, for that I have sworn I won't do.
AMAN. Well, I won't; but let me know all you can without perjury. 330
BER. I'll let you know enough to prevent any wise woman's dying of the pip; and I hope you'll pluck up your spirits, and show, upon occasion, you can be as good a wife as the best of 'em.
AMAN. Well, what a woman can do I'll en 335 deavor.
BER. Oh, a woman can do a great deal, if once she sets her mind to it. Therefore pray don't stand trifling any longer, and teasing yourself with this and that, and your love and your virtue, and 340 I know not what. But resolve to hold up your head, get a tiptoe, and look over 'em all; for to my certain knowledge your husband is a-pickering1 elsewhere.
AMAN. You are sure on't?
BER. Positively; he fell in love at the play. 345
AMAN. Right, the very same; do you know the ugly thing?
BER. Yes, I know her well enough; but she's no such an ugly thing, neither.
AMAN. Is she very handsome? 350
BER. Truly, I think so.
AMAN. Hey ho!
BER. What do you sigh for now?
AMAN. Oh, my heart!
BER. (aside). Only the pangs of nature! she's 355 in labor of her love; heaven send her a quick delivery; I'm sure she has a good midwife.
AMAN. I'm very ill, I must go to my chamber. Dear Berinthia, don't leave me a moment.
BER. No, don't fear. (Aside.) I'll see you 360 safe brought to bed, I'll warrant you.
Exeunt, AMANDA leaning upon BERINTHIA.
[The gate of] a country house.
Enter YOUNG FASHION and LORY.
Y. FAS. So, here's our inheritance, Lory, if we can but get into possession. But methinks the seat of our family looks like Noah's ark, as if the chief part on't were designed for the fowls of the air and the beasts of the field. 5
LO. Pray, sir, don't let your head run upon the orders of building here; get but the heiress, let the devil take the house.
Y. FAS. Get but the house, let the devil take the heiress, I say; at least if she be as old Coupler 10 describes her. But come, we have no time to squander. Knock at the door. (LORY knocks two or three times.) What the devil, have they got no ears in this house? Knock harder.
LO. I'gad, sir, this will prove some enchanted 15 castle; we shall have the giant come out by and by with his club, and beat our brains out.
Y. FAS. Hush! they come.
[SERV.] (from within). Who is there?
LO. Open the door and see: is that your 20 country breeding?
[SERV.] (within). Ay, but two words to a bargain: Tummas, is the blunderbuss primed?
Y. FAS. Oons, give 'em good words, Lory; we shall be shot here a fortune-catching. 25____________________