LO. I'gad, sir, I think y'are in the right on't. ----- Ho, Mr. What d'ye-call-um.
(Servant appears at the window with a blunderbuss.)
SERV. Weall naw what's yare business?
Y. FAS. Nothing, sir, but to wait upon Sir Tunbelly, with your leave. 30
SERV. To weat upon Sir Tunbelly? Why, you'll find that's just as Sir Tunbelly pleases.
Y. FAS. But will you do me the favor, sir, to know whether Sir Tunbelly pleases or not?
SERV. Why, look you, do you see, with good 35 words much may be done. ----- Ralph, go thy weas, and ask Sir Tunbelly if he pleases to be waited upon. And, dost hear? call to nurse, that she may lock up Miss Hoyden before the geats open.
Y. FAS. D'ye hear that, Lory? 40
LO. Ay, sir, I'm afraid we shall find a difficult job on't. Pray heaven that old rogue Coupler han't sent us to fetch milk out of the gunroom!
Y. FAS. I'll warrant thee all will go well: see, the door opens. 45
Enter SIR TUNBELLY, with his Servants armed with guns, clubs, pitchforks, scythes, etc.
LO. (running behind his master). O Lord, O Lord, O Lord, we are both dead men!
Y. FAS. Take heed, fool; thy fear will ruin us.
LO. My fear, sir -- 'sdeath, sir, I fear nothing. (Aside.) Would I were well up to the chin in 50 a horsepond!
SIR TUN. Who is it here has any business with me?
Y. FAS. Sir, 'tis I, if your name be Sir Tunbelly Clumsey.
SIR TUN. Sir, my name is Sir Tunbelly 55
Clumsey, [whether] you have any business with me or not. So you see I am not ashamed of my name -- nor my face, neither.
Y. FAS. Sir, you have no cause, that I know of.
SIR TUN. Sir, if you have no cause neither, 60 I desire to know who you are; for till I know your name, I shall not ask you to come into my house; and when I know your name -- 'tis six to four I don't ask you neither.
Y. FAS. (giving him a letter). Sir, I hope you'll 65 find this letter an authentic passport.
SIR TUN. Cod's my life, I ask your lordship's pardon ten thousand times. (To his Servants.) Here, run in a-doors quickly: get a Scotch coal fire in the great parlor; set all the Turkey-work chairs 70 in their places; get the great brass candlesticks out, and be sure stick the sockets full of laurel; run! (Turning to YOUNG FASHION.) My lord, I ask your lordship's pardon. (To other Servants.) And do you hear, run away to nurse, bid her let Miss 75 Hoyden loose again, and if it was not shifting-day,1 let her put on a clean tucker -- quick! (Exeunt Servants confusedly.) (To YOUNG FASHION.) I hope your honor will excuse the disorder of my family; we are not used to receive men of your 80 lordship's great quality every day; pray, where are your coaches and servants, my lord?
Y. FAS. Sir, that I might give you and your fair daughter a proof how impatient I am to be nearer akin to you, I left my equipage to follow me, and 85 came away post with only one servant.
SIR TUN. Your lordship does me too much honor; it was exposing your person to too much fatigue and danger, I protest it was; but my daughter shall endeavor to make you what amends she can; and go though I say it, that should not say it -- Hoyden has charms.
Y. FAS. Sir, I am not a stranger to them, though I am to her; common fame has done her justice.
SIR TUN. My lord, I am common fame's very 95 grateful humble servant. My lord -- my girl's young: Hoyden is young, my lord; but this I must say for her, what she wants in art, she has by nature; what she wants in experience, she has in breeding; and what's wanting in her age is made good in 100 her constitution. So pray, my lord, walk in; pray, my lord, walk in.
Y. FAS. Sir, I wait upon you. Exeunt.
[MISS HOYDEN'S Chamber within the house.]
MISS HOYDEN, sola.
Sure, never nobody was used as I am. I know well enough what other girls do, for all they think to make a fool of me: it's well I have a husband a coming, or i'cod, I'd marry the baker, I would so. Nobody can knock at the gate, but presently I 5 must be locked up; and here's the young greyhound bitch can run loose about the house all day long, she can; 'tis very well.
NURSE (without, opening the door). Miss Hoyden! Miss, Miss, Miss; Miss Hoyden! 10
MISS. Well, what do you make such a noise for, ha? What do you din a body's ears for? Can't one be at quiet for you!
NURSE. What do I din your ears for? Here's one come will din your ears for you. 15
MISS. What care I who's come? I care not a fig who comes, nor who goes, as long as I must be locked up like the ale-cellar.____________________