SIR TUN. I'gad, your lordship is an ingenious 80 person, and a very great general; but shall we kill any of 'em, or not?
Y. FAS. No, no, fire over their heads only to fright 'em; I'll warrant the regiment scours1 when the colonel's a prisoner. 85
SIR TUN. Then come along, my boys, and let your courage be great ----- for your danger is but small. Exeunt.
Enter LORD FOPPINGTONand Followers.
LORD FOP. A pax of these bumkinly people! ----- will they open the gate, or do they desire I should grow at their moat-side like a willow? (To the Porter.) Hey, fellow -- prithee do me the favor, in as few words as thou canst find to express thyself, 5 to tell me whether thy master will admit me or not, that I may turn about my coach and be gone.
POR. Here's my master himself now at hand; he's of age, he'll give you his answer.
Enter SIR TUNBELLYand Servants.
SIR TUN. My most noble lord, I crave your 10 pardon for making your honor wait so long; but my orders to my servants have been to admit no body without my knowledge, for fear of some attempt upon my daughter, the times being full of plots and roguery. 15
LORD FOP. Much caution, I must confess, is a sign of great wisdom: but, [stap] my vitals, I have got a cold enough to destroy a porter ----- he, hem -----
SIR TUN. I am very sorry for't, indeed, my lord; but if your lordship please to walk in, we'll help 20 you to some brown sugar-candy. My lord, I'll show you the way.
LORD FOP. Sir, I follow you with pleasure.
(As LORD FOPPINGTON'S Servants go to follow him in, they clap the door against LA VÉROLE.)
SERVANTS (within). Nay, hold you me there, Sir.
LA VÉR. Jernie die, qu'est ce que veut dire ça?225
SIR TUN. (within). ----- Fire, porter.
PORT. (fires). Have among you, my masters!
LA VÉR. Ah, je suis mort3 -----
The Servants all run of.
PORT. Not one soldier left, by the mass.
Scene changes to the hall.
Enter SIR TUNBELLY, the Chaplain and Servants, with LORD FOPPINGTONdisarmed.
SIR TUN. Come, bring him along, bring him along.
LORD FOP. What the pax do you mean, gentlemen? is it fair time,4 that you are all drunk before dinner?
SIR TUN. Drunk, sirrah? Here's an impudent rogue for you! Drunk or sober, bully, I'm a 5 justice of the peace, and know how to deal with strollers.
LORD FOP. Strollers!
SIR TUN. Ay, strollers; come, give an account of yourself; what's your name? where do you live? 10 Do you pay scot and lot?5 Are you a Williamite, or a Jacobite? Come.
LORD FOP. And why dost thou ask me so many impertinent questions?
SIR TUN. Because I'll make you answer 'em 15 before I have done with you, you rascal you.
LORD FOP. Before Gad, all the answer I can make thee to 'em, is, that thou art a very extraordinary old fellow; [stap] my vitals -----
SIR TUN. Nay, if you are for joking with 20 deputy-lieutenants, we'st know how to deal with you. ----- Here, draw a warrant for him immediately.
LORD FOP. A warrant ----- what the devil is't thou wouldst be at, old gentleman?
SIR TUN. I would be at you, sirrah, (if my 25 hands were not tied as a magistrate) and with these two double fists beat your teeth down your throat, you dog you.
LORD FOP. And why would'st thou spoil my face at that rate? 30
SIR TUN. For your design to rob me of my daughter, villain.
LORD FOP. Rab thee of thy daughter! ----- Now do I begin to believe I am abed and asleep, and that all this is but a dream. If it be, 'twill be an 35 agreeable surprise enough to waken by and by and instead of the impertinent company of a nasty country justice, find myself, perhaps, in the arms of a woman of quality. (To SIR TUNBELLY.) Prithee, old father, wilt thou give me leave to ask thee 40 one question?
SIR TUN. I can't tell whether I will or not, till I know what it is.
LORD FOP. Why, then, it is, whether thou didst not write to my Lord Foppington to come down 45 and marry thy daughter.
SIR TUN. Yes, marry did I, and my Lord Fopping-____________________